Q&A: Using Ben Wa Balls – Are They Safe, Will They Get Lost or Set Off Alarms?

Hi Sh!

I’ve been visiting your shop for many years and I have to say, it’s great! I’m writing to request some advice about using Ben Wa Balls. I bought some from you a little while back and have tried to use them, however I’m worried about them getting lost inside me! Is it easy to get Ben Wa balls out again?

I’ve also heard a couple of stories about metal love balls setting off alarms at supermarkets – please tell me if that’s possible?

Thanks in advance.

 Can Ben Wa Balls Get Lost Inside ?

Ben Wa Balls £10
Ben Wa Balls £10

Hi there, thanks for getting in touch. The Ben Wa Balls must only ever be used vaginally ( they are NOT safe for anal play)

They can’t get lost inside and are very easy to get out – because they’re quite small and heavy, we always say it’s keeping them IN you need to worry about!

There’s literally nowhere for Ben Wa Balls to go – the cervix, which sits at the top of the vagina, is a closed ring of muscle and has only just enough room for sperm to sneak through it – the only time it’s open at all is during, and right after, giving birth. There’s nowhere something the size of a Ben Wa Ball could go to, just as it’s impossible to ‘lose’ a tampon in the vagina ( though, unlike Ben Wa Balls, it is possible to forget a tampon)

Ben Wa Balls are very safe to use and are quite easy to get out.

Ben Wa Balls are made from unreactive metal and have nothing toxic in them. Because they’re heavy, they will sit near the bottom of the vagina if you’re sitting or standing up, though they may be a little deeper in if you lie down.

It’s very easy to get them out by just relaxing the pelvic floor muscles a little. It can help to take a deep breath, and relax the muscles as you exhale. It’s also possible to dip a finger inside and hook them out, or to bear down slightly, like when having a pee, and push them out.

It’s highly unlikely that Ben Wa Balls will set off alarms  or security metal detectors.

Anything inside the body tends not to be picked up on those scanners – metal hip-replacement joints and metal fillings in people’s teeth, for example, don’t set off the alarms, so you should be fine with Ben Wa Balls.

We’d suggest not wearing them to go through airports, where they’ll be a little more concerned about metal objects within the body ( and nobody needs a cavity search, do they!?) but otherwise you should be fine.

If you’re nervous about putting your Ben Wa balls in, we’d suggest setting aside a while to relax and take your time over it. Switch off the mobile and have a nice bath or a glass of wine or whatever helps you to relax. This time is all for you, so you don’t have to rush or do anything uncomfortable. It’s also worth using a little bit of lubricant to help them slip in easily.

Sh! Silicone Love Balls £18
Love balls are 2 weighted sphere’s designed to strengthen the PC muscle, which will give you stronger orgasms


Relaxation is absolutely key to pleasure, so if you still feel a bit worried ablout having unconnected pleasure balls inside of you, we suggest Sh! Silicone Love Balls – slightly larger than Ben Wa, but still small, heavy, completely coated in body-safe silicone and with a retrieval cord for peace of mind.

Hope all this helps – please do give us a shout if you have any more questions.

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

female ejaculation advice

Q&A: How Common is Female Ejaculation?

Dear Sh!

I was in your shop a couple of weeks back and as a single man I really appreciated that you let me in, and were patient enough to answer all my questions!

Anyway, to come to the point, I wanted to ask you – how common is female ejaculation? I’ve experienced female ejaculation with previous partners but not with my current girlfriend, and I was wondering whether, with a small G-spot dildo, patience and dedication, I might be able to do this for her?

Thanks very much – and thank you again for making my visit to the shop so enjoyable!



Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch – and glad to hear you enjoyed your visit to the shop.

How Common is Female Ejaculation?

Lots of women experience female ejaculation but don’t realise, or worse, hold back because it ejaculation feels very like the urge to pee. Regarding female ejaculation, it’s something that varies a great deal from woman to woman. Some women find it very easy, others never experience it. It’s worth talking to your partner about what she gets out of G-Spot stimulation. The best way to go about it is to play around with G-Spot stimulation and see what feels good for her. Taking time and talking about it is crucial, as it’s the best way to find out what she likes.

Practice Ejaculating

Because the G-Spot sits right under the bladder and around the urethra, G-Spot stimulation can make a woman feel  like she suddenly needs to go to the loo. It’s common for women to clench up at that point and try not to ‘let go’, because we’re all very conditioned not to pee in bed! It can really help her to relax if you try this in the shower or the bath first, or even just put a towel on the bed.

Glass G-Spot Dildo £37
Glass G-Spot Dildo £37

Specially curved G-spot toys can be really helpful as the bend makes it easier (and less tiring!) to provide the sustained stimulation the G-spot loves, than by hand alone.

We would recommend a glass G-Spot dildo which is firm, smooth, and with a drop of lube, incredibly sensual for g spot play.

More about Female Ejaculation

There’s also a couple of good books we can recommend – The Clitoral Truth and also Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot, both of which are excellent guides to female ejaculation.
These should help with G-spot stimulation, but as you say ejaculation is not too common and it depends on each individual woman. We’d suggest not focussing just on ejaculation – there’s lots of fun to be had and things to be discovered trying for female ejaculation, so enjoy the journey too.

Hope this all helps.

Best Wishes

Team Sh!


Q&A: Sexy DVD’s?

There’s a few recurring questions we get asked a lot here at Sh! – here’s the answer to one of them.

Dear Sh!

I’ve been looking for some women-friendly porn for ages – something hardcore and hot, but not the usual man-focussed stuff where it’s all about the man.

I’ve noticed you have some female-focussed DVDs, but they are all rated 18 and not R18. Why is that?


Hi there,

Thanks for your query. There’s a couple of reasons we aren’t able to supply R18 DVDs to our customers – much as we’d like to. At Sh! we believe that if you want to watch hot films that’s up to you, but we’re stuck with some antiquated laws which mean we’re restricted in what we can sell.

Restrictions on DVD’s

DVDs which show penetration or ejaculation are rated as R18, and anything with an R18 certificate is covered by different laws.

Here at Sh! HQ where we run the Mail-Order side of the business, we’re not able to send out R18 DVDs through the post, since it’s actually illegal in this country (though many websites do it anyway).

So what about in the shop? Only a licensed Sex Shop can sell R18 films, and we’ve chosen not to get a license at our Hoxton Store at the moment. Not because the fee is pretty heavy – we’d happily pay it to be able to supply our customers with what they like – but because we’d also have to change our door policy. Licensed Sex Shops can’t allow anyone under the age of 18 onto their premises, which would mean banning mums with tots from the premises.

Sex Shop Accessible to Mothers

One of the things we really want to do at Sh! is keep it accessible for all women – and we’re not gonig to ban mothers with youngsters. We reckon it’s up to mums to decide if the non-graphic, non-scary, atmosphere of Sh! is ok for their baby or toddler, which is why we haven’t got the Sex Shop License, which would take that decision out of our hands.

We’d also have to put up a sign at the door warning that we have ‘obscene material’ within. We’re proud of our selection of goodies at Sh! and don’t think they’re ‘obscene’ – and guilt-tripping our lovely customers at the door isn’t quite our style either.

But here’s the good news

In the last few years, some really lovely female-focused, certificate 18 porn has been made. We’re really liking the work of Anna Span, Britain’s first female porn director, whose hot DVDs offer a genuine female point of view, guys who are hot not just well-endowed, and best of all, women who look like they’re in control and having fun!

We’re also very keen on Petra Joy, whose ‘Sensual Seduction’ is a different style of erotic DVD – she uses dream-sequences and lots of props to create the ultimate sensual seduction, based on real women’s fantasies and starring real-life lovers.

Hope this helps explain the reasoning behind our policy. Please do give us a shout with any more questions.

Best Wishes

Team Sh!

Sexy Accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets

Sexy Accessories from Bijoux Indiscrets

Pearls for Princesses

Pearl Cuffs £29
Pearl Cuffs £29

These delicate Pearl Cuffs are perfect for accessorising your princess. Made up of five rows of pearly beads, and linked with a length of elegant silver chain, these wrist cuffs can be adjusted to fit a variety of sizes. Better suited to gentle scenes, they look beautiful when placed on a submissive who’s been dressed to impress.


Nipple Accessories

Nipple Jewellery £11
Nipple Jewellery £11

The Bijoux Indiscrets Nipple Jewellery are stick-on rhinestone decorations that are placed directly on to the areola for an fantastically sexy look. Wear without a bra, under a bra for a peek-a-boo surprise, use as an alternative to pasties, or with a stylish corset – the options for nipple jewellery are many!


Feathery Wrist Cuffs

Bling Bling Marabou Cuffs £29
Bling Bling Marabou Cuffs £29

The gorgeous Bling Bling Marabou Cuffs are made of soft feathers linked together by an elegant chain, making them perfect for light bondage. The Bling Bling Set also comes with a pot of lickable body shimmer and a feather tickler to tease your lover with.


Gorgeous goodies – perfect for spicing up your weekend!

Pleasure Gels to Enhance Sex & Orgasm

6 Great Reasons To Masturbate

Female masturbation is still something of a hidden, if not a taboo topic.

Men learn from an early age and are given permission to do so, with fond jokes abounding about what goes on in teenage boys bedrooms and why there is a surplus of single socks ( for those not in the know, socks are a boy”s masturbatory best-friend apparently! 😉

Girls ‘playing with themselves’ are not given the same seal of approval, even nowadays. We guess this is  due to old  attitudes that boys/men have more wilder ‘urges’ and that it’s natural for boys to masturbate, but not for girls – which, of course it complete bumf as its natural for everybody to masturbate!

It’s also to do with the different ways boys and girls are socialized.   Girls are taught to be the nurturers,  and as masturbation in self-centered ( in the BEST possible way!) it’s seen as going against female ‘giving’ nature.

And there’s the physical differences, of course. Male bits are  quite simply visible, in 3 easy parts and right *there*  to see and feel, whereas female bits are hidden and quite complicated!

But, despite these sometimes barriers to our learning to self-love, there’s every reason for girls and women to masturbate and here’s 6 of the best…

1. Masturbate to Learn

We reckon it’s great for women in particular to learn about their own bodies’ responses from masturbation.

Films and magazines give us unrealistic ideas of what sex should look and feel like – but there’s no substitute for first-hand research.

Knowing what feels good makes it that much easier to tell a lover what we like – or even to show them.


2. Masturbate to Try New Things

Masturbation is a great way to explore new pleasures, at your own pace.

If you’re considering  playing with a first vibrator, but are not sure you’ll enjoy the buzz, curious about anal play , but worried you’ll hate it or drawn to a   strap-on toy, but not sure you could work it, experimenting by yourself  banishes all newbie nerves or performance anxiety you may have if your partner was involved.



 3. Masturbate to Take the Pressure Off

Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40
Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40

Masturbation can also be good for women who find orgasms a little more elusive.

Taking some time out to yourself takes the pressure off and gives you time to explore and try out other styles of stimulation, like vibrators.

Vibrators boost circulation, and they can give the fast, consistent stimulation that can really help women get off.

Old friends the Classic Rabbit Vibrators, with their clit-hugging ears, are effective vibes if you find orgasms trickier to reach.


 4. Masturbate to Feel Good

Masturbation is great exercise: it gets your pulses racing, your blood pumping and puts a spring in your step.

It’s also got a huge feel-good factor – hormones released during arousal and orgasm make you happy and snuggly, so masturbation is the perfect way to give yourself a good-mood boost.

Depending on how it works for you, it can be a helpful way to get to sleep, or it can get you wide-awake and feeling energized.


5. Masturbate to Pamper Yourself

There’s also a lot of benefit in taking some time out to pamper yourself.

If you’re unusually busy or stressed, taking an evening to look after number one is a great idea.

Try a relaxing bath, or spoiling yourself with massage oil, tasty chocolate treats, some hot erotica, or a sexy sex toy – or two!

Set it up with all the care and attention you would for a hot date – then seduce yourself.


6. Masturbate For Fun

And – how could we forget – masturbation is fun!

You are your most insightful and sensitive lover, so go for it – enjoy yourself!



Masturbation Month

Best Female Masturbation Books

It is very tricky, especially for women, to find good, honest and clear information about masturbation and sexuality, as we know from of many years of talking and listening to women about it this very subject!

So we’re going to share our top  few of our favourite sex guides which cover female masturbation in all it’s fabulous forms….

Best Book for Clitoral-Focused Masturbation


Clitoral Truth
Clitoral Truth

The Clitoral Truth, by Rebecca Chalker, gives a detailed and fascinating account of the clitoris – the only human organ intended entirely for pleasure!

Rebecca Chalker draws on the knowledge of women doctors and patients and dramatically rethinks the dominant assumptions about women and sexuality.

Accompanied by lively drawings, and articles on the G-Spot and orgasms as well as the biology of the clitoris, The Clitoral Truth is highly recommended!

Best Book For Exploring G-Spot Masturbation & Pleasure

Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot £10.99

The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by Violet Blue is a great guide to the G-spot in all its aspects – what it is, where to find it, how to stimulate it – alone or with a partner.

She starts with anatomical explanations, and covers positions, G-Spot toys, DVDs and other good stuff!
The G-Spot is still the site of so much mystery, but Violet Blue does a lot to make it clear.

(We also love the companion volume, The Smart Girl’s Guide To Porn, which covers all aspects of exploring erotica).


Best Book for Anal Pleasure

Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women £14.99

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, written by anal sex expert Tristan Taormino, is a great guide to every aspect of anal play.

Specifically aimed at women interested in exploring anal pleasure, this expanded second edition is a cover-all  guide to enjoying anal sex on your own as well as with a partner, communicating about anal sex, giving as well as receiving, and even anal power play.

The first book ever to deal specifically with anal sex for women, Tristan Taormino’s work is a fantastic resource whether you’re curious about anal sex, a beginner, or rapidly qualifying to be an anal Expert!


Best All-Round Guide Cover Masturbation, Sexuality & Sexual Pleasure for all Genders

Good Vibrations Guide to Sex
Good Vibrations Guide to Sex £18.99

The Good Vibes Guide to Sex is one of our all time  favourites – we call it ‘The Bible’ and keep a copy close to hand in our shop.

Written by women who have spent many years working in America’s Good Vibrations store, it answers pretty much every question about sex and sexuality you could think of…

It’s a  guide for anyone and everyone and covers masturbation and self-love, in detail, as well as oral sex, anal sex, S/M, and much more! We love the down-to earth tone, broad range of topics covered and its inclusivity of all sexualities and genders – this book really covers it all!

So, there’s a few of our favourite sex guides that specifically cover female masturbation and self pleasure ( though they also cover partner-pleasure too) These are classics that have stood the test of time; super informative, and handy  to have around.

Please Note: Theses guides will *always* be on our store and virtual shelves, so long as we can get our hands on them. If they show as out of stock, or even discontinued, this is because they are re-printing and thus unfortunately there will be a long wait – please be patient!

advice sex toys

Sex Toys and the Hite Report

In 1974 (18 years before Sh! opened its doors and gave women a chance to buy their own sex toys in a relaxed & informative environment), Shere Hite published ‘The Hite Report On Female Sexuality’, an account of the first large research project which had asked women about their experiences of masturbation and sex.

Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40
Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40

Hite was reacting against all the previous studies (made by male researchers) which assumed that ‘sex = heterosexual intercourse’. Hite researched women’s experiences of all forms of sexuality, including masturbation. Before the Hite Report, it was believed that only a minority of women ever masturbated. Hite’s research showed that 82% of women masturbated regularly and of them 95% had no difficulty reaching orgasm.

At the time this was a revolutionary statistic, as it was widely assumed that women were slow to get turned on and found orgasms difficult to reach, based on studies of heterosexual intercourse. Hite was the first to reveal that women can and do have satisfying experiences of masturbation, and that clit stimulation, rather than penetration, is the secret of satisfaction for most of us. Hite was able to categorise six different styles of masturbation. (The figures are a bit different today; this research was done pre-Rabbit-Vibrator, before That Madonna Video and pre-Sh!).

We have had a look at the list and come up with some suggestions for what style works with which of our fabulous toys.

Rippled Finger Vibe £18
Rippled Finger Vibe £18

73% of women said they masturbate by lying on their backs and stimulating their clits directly.

This classic style can be combined with a Finger Vibrator for an extra thrill, or with a small bullet vibrator.

5.5% of women described masturbating while lying on their stomachs.

This style is cosy and allows for lots of variations. An egg vibrator would be ideal with this style – they’re small, strong and have separate controls for easy access when you want to turn up the buzz. For a more direct buzz, try the Rabbit Ears Clit Vibe – rabbit ears are fantastic for focused clitoral simulation.

4% of women rub themselves on an object – soft or hard – without touching themselves with their hands.

Cordless Wand
Cordless Wand £50

Indirect stimulation can also be really sensuous – the whole genital region is very sensitive and some women find that rubbing gives them exactly what they need. Try combining this style with vibration – Je Joue Mimi Soft pebble vibe is a perfect shape for providing widespread buzz, or the Wand Massager, with its large vibrating head, is also great for women who like this style.

Other women masturbate by rhythmically tensing and relaxing their thighs to squeeze their clit.

This is a great style for long bus journeys, as it’s super subtle. To complement this style, we think reckon Love Balls would be fantastic to add a little G-Spot sensation, plus they give your PC muscles an extra work-out. Alternatively, very small bullets like the Sh! Bullet Vibe which is small enough to be tucked between your lips for a lot of buzz, are a great addition to this style.

Water Massage – 2% of women use the shower head.

This style can be combined with waterproof toys for a really luscious experience. Alternatively, to recreate the feel of water-massage on dry land, we’d suggest the Flexi Wand which has a gentle fluttery motion.

1.5% of women reported using vaginal penetration and more than half of them combined it with clit stimulation.

Cupid 3 Vibrating Dildo £50
Cupid 3 Vibrating Dildo £50

Rabbit Vibrators provides both in one cute package.  With a shaft that rotates, plus the fantastic bunny ears that give very focused clit vibration, the Rabbit vibes are great all-round toys. Sh! Cupid 3 vibrating dildo can be used for thrilling penetration plus a bit of buzz, and any dildo can be used to combine with manual clit-play, if your fingers work best for you.

11% of women reported using a combination of these styles

To play mix and match with stimulation, we still reckon the rabbit vibe has a bit of everything. Variations on dual pleasure vibes include the G-Spot Dual Vibrator, Fun Factory Paul & Paulina and the fantastic Delight vibrator, all of which give both vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Hite’s research showed that women’s masturbation techniques are much more varied than was previously believed, and that penetrative sex isn’t the only thing that women can enjoy. We wholeheartedly agree – we reckon we’ve got something sexy for everyone!

Beginners Guide to Buying first Strap On

Beginners Guide: My First Anal Toy

First and foremost – anal toys need to be safe

This means either having a flared/wide base or a ring/handle to keep tight hold of.

There’s a very good reason for this – toys can vanish up there easier than you might think.

Getting them out again can be at the very least be panicky… At worst, a trip to A&E might be required.

All Sh! silicone dildos have our trademark heart-shaped base, so every one is suitable for anal play.

Also crucial – Anal play needs lube.

The anus, unlike the vagina, isn’t naturally lubricating, so lube is a must to keep things slick and safe. Thicker lubes are better – Lush Pure Plus is perfect for anal play, it’s thick and long-lasting and very smooth!

Anal Beads make a great anal starter toy

Sh! Vibrating Silicone Beads
Sh! Vibrating Silicone Beads £30

Anal beads are strings of beads, usually small, but increasing gradually in size.

The beads are slipped inside, one at a time, and then gently pulled out at orgasm.

Because the anal muscles are closely involved in orgasm, this can feel absolutely fantastic!

Combining vibration with anal play – wow!

Anal Vibrators add a tingle which can help relax resisting anal muscles and of course the vibration can be felt throughout the whole nether regions…

Butt plugs have a narrow neck at the base so it stays in place

Butt Plug 2
Butt Plug 2 £19

…ideal if you want your hands free for other things.

Butt Plugs are designed to stay put once inside, unlike anal dildos which are designed to move. They provide a full feeling and something to squeeze against. This ‘squeezing’ involves the PC muscle, which is key to great orgasms.

We maybe biased but Sh! makes some very sexy silicone butt plugs – there’s a shape for anyone, from newbies to the experienced…

Men have an advantage when it comes to anal play

The prostate gland (aka male G-Spot) is tucked away up there!

There’s lots of advice across our site on the prostate, how to find it and how to pleasure it, but briefly it’s the male hot-spot found a few inches inside, towards the front of the body.

Anal toys that are specially designed with a curve to stroke and stimulate this super-sensitive spot include Sh!’s own curved butt plug and Rocks Off Rude Boy.

The Pleasure of Pegging

Anal sex using a dildo (or ‘pegging’) is a hot activity for couples which has become increasingly popular in the last 10 years.

Men are discovering the fun of being on the receiving end of penetration, with their partners discovering the fun in donning a strap-on harness and dildo combo to pleasure their man – a win-win situation!

To make choosing simple, we’ve created an anal strap-on kit with everything you need to get started.

We also manufacture a strapless strap-on which allows both partners to enjoy the intimacy of shared penetration during pegging – it’s a toy for subtle movements rather than wild in-and-out action.

Reading up on anal play

Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women £11.99

Guides on anal sex are a great source of information, particularly if you are a newbie, without much experience of the ins and outs of anal pleasure.

We’d recommend The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Men as the definitive bibles to all things anal; from positions, toys, safety & hygiene and every other question you’ve ever wanted to know about anal sex.

best Dildo advice

Masturbation Myths

As part of National Masturbation Month, we’re taking a look at a few of the myths about masturbation and sex toys that are still doing the rounds.

Not the old masturbation-makes-you-blind nonsense, we can leave that behind the bike sheds, but more prevelant myths we pick up from TV and magazines.

1.MASTURBATION MYTH! Vibrators make your clit less sensitive.

Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40
Sh! Jessica Rabbit £40

The clitoris is an immensely sensitive organ, with something like 8000 nerve endings, and while you may get comfy with one particular style of clit stimulation and find that one easier to climax with, that doesn’t make you immune to others.

Variety is key in everything, so changing up your masturbation style rather than sticking to the same routine is always best.

Women who are used to vibrators may find them easier to get on (or rather off!) with, but it doesn’t reduce their sensitivity. We reckon it’s possibly a worry men have because they feel ‘responsible’ for their partner’s orgasms. Don’t panic, gents – vibrators don’t make women less sensitive to other sensations – but if your fingers are easily tired and she likes constant intense stimulation, we suggest introducing a vibe into sex. Finger Vibrators and Tongue Vibrators can be combined with stimulation by a partner – best of both worlds! Bullet and Egg vibrators are particularly couple-friendly, and can be used for clit stimulation combined with penetrative sex. (We also recommend giving his sensitive bits a buzz if he’s willing – he’ll soon see what all the fuss is about!)


2. Masturbation Myth! Men don’t use toys

Tenga Soft Tube Cup £14
Tenga Soft Tube Cup £14

Not all men certainly, but there are more and more guys willing to give them a try…

If you’ve ever wondered what all the fuss is about, then we reckon it’s worth trying one out. We have a favourite quotation from a guy when introduced to a vibrator for the first time: Oh – how do women ever leave the house?”

There are a few ways to try out men’s sex toys, depending on what you’re comfortable with. There are cock rings, which are a very sexy way to start – they boost your sensitivity, prolong erection, and some of them have a vibrator included, which is a great extra for intercourse as it doubles as a clit stimulator.

There are also the Tenga Eggs, as well as the rechargeable Cobra, all designed to give him some stimulation where it counts!

Then again, how about trying anal toys? Research by Shere Hite shows that lots of straight guys are into anal play, but they don’t necessarily tell their partner. There’s lots of fun to be had with prostate massagers, or if you fancy sharing the experience with a partner, there’s the Sh! Pegging Kit  and strapless strap ons to try out too!

(And don’t forget the slick and sensual lube! Essential gear for boys with toys, as well as very sexy and slippery for a hot hand-job)!


3. Masturbation Myth! Solo Sex means you don’t want sex with your partner.

Not true – most people will continue to masturbate if they’re in a relationship, even if the sex is great! The two complement each other and masturbation can improve your sex life – you get to find out what you like in your own time, you get to focus on yourself, and that makes it much easier when it comes to asking for what you want with a partner!


4. MASTURBATION MYTH! Sex toys are sleazy.

Desire Vibrator £49

Not any more! Maybe once, when the height of sex-toy sophistication was a blow up doll or some scratchy knickers, but you just have to look at the gorgeous toys Lelo and Je Joue are making these days to see how much the industry has moved on.

There’s nothing sleazy about the toys we sell – and we’ve contributed to the move towards quality women’s toys, and couple’s sex toys too. Sh! has always been proud to stock (and make!) the most sensuous, elegant and female-friendly sex toys you can find!


Q&A: Aphrodisiacs

Will Spanish Fly Enhance Arousal?

We get asked from time to time why we don’t stock aphrodisiacs. Everyone’s heard that oysters, chocolate, little blue pills, Spanish Fly, asparagus and so on can enhance arousal and desire – so what’s the catch?

We got this email from a customer a while ago – our answer is below to give you our take on aphrodisiacs.


I was wondering if you could help me. Can you tell me, what’s the best aphrodisiac? Do they really have any effect and are they safe? Is it true that rhino horn is used, and does it work? Please let me know.



Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch. We don’t stock aphrodisiacs as there are some safety issues around some of them, and we definitely encourage safer sex. Other aphrodisiacs on the market don’t do anything at all – so it would be cheeky of us to sell them! We aren’t medical experts, but to be honest there are a few reasons we would not recommend the use of aphrodisiacs.

Are Aphrodisiacs Safe?

Commercially sold aphrodisiacs aren’t always subject to the same testing and monitoring as prescription medicines, so it’s impossible to be certain that they’re safe. There’s also the possibility that they could have harmful side-effects, or interact with other medications. Spanish Fly or cantharides, for example, is a famously used aphrodisiac, dating back to Ancient Rome, but the substance itself is in fact a bladder irritant – not very sexy! The ‘Spanish Fly’ marketed online today is often just cayenne pepper, or is a homeopathic version in which the substance is so heavily diluted that none of the active ingredient remains. The same is true of the ‘Blue Pills’ and Viagra imitations sold online, as well as at shops like Ann Summers, which seem to be largely herbal preparations with no effect at all.

With foodstuffs used as aphrodisiacs, the evidence is hard to find. We’ve heard stories about oysters, chocolate, asparagus, and lots of other foods, but with no detailed studies out there we can’t tell you if they work or not. Even if they do, it’s probably a very individual response – one person might find chocolate gets her in the mood, another might like seafood, and so on.

Using Rhino Horn as an Aphrodisiac

As regards exotic varieties of aphrodisiac like rhino horn, we certainly wouldn’t recommend those even if it had been proved that they work. The market in rhino horn is one of the reasons that rhino poaching has seriously reduced the numbers of rhinos in the world – over a thousand rhinos were killed between 2006 and 2009, just for their horns.

It’s also worth noting that rhino horn is the same sort of protein- keratin – that our hair and fingernails are made of. If keratin had an effect on arousal, men who bite their nails would be in demand

Aphrodisiacs for Erectile Dysfunction?

Instead of using over-the-counter or bought-online aphrodisiacs, we’d recommend speaking to a GP and seeking medically recommended treatments for erectile dysfunction or lack of arousal.

Get in the Mood without Using Aphrodisiacs

Shunga Body Massage Gel £25
Shunga Body Massage Gel £25

– Have a bath – it’s very relaxing and taking time out to pamper is a great way to get in the mood.
– Give your partner a massage with some luscious massage oil – it’s relaxing, sensual and a really good way to connect with your lover and focus on them after a busy day.
– Play a sexy game – it gets you in the mood and it also gets you talking about sex in a playful way.


Sex Toys Instead of Aphrodisiacs

Sex Toys
Sex Toys

It’s also good to experiment with new toys – they can really spice up your sex life! Trying out a finger vibrator, a tongue vibe, or a couple’s vibe are all hot ways to introduce a new aspect into your sex life.

It short, we’d say that taking time out to enjoy each other’s company, planning the occasional treat, and above all talking to each other, are much more effective at creating a sexy vibe between you than the use of aphrodisiacs.


Really hope all this helps – please feel free to give us a shout if you have any more questions.

Best Wishes

Team Sh!