Sex and sextoy advice, drawn from 20+ years advising women & couples. We understand that your sexuality is individual and unique, so whether you visit us in store, contact us online or by phone or simply browse our online guides, we’ll give honest, upfront advice that’s personal and expertly tailored with one aim; to help you discover your own true sexual self.
If you’d like more info, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men, is full of fantastic tips, advice and lots more details than we can give here. This book is on the Team Sh! training reading list, so you know it comes highly recommended!
Hope all this helps. Please do give us a shout with any other questions.
Made famous in Channel 4’s Sex Tips for Girls, a remote control vibrator puts your orgasmic destiny in your lover’s hands.
A remote vibrator has a wireless control unit that is separate to the vibrator which switches the vibe on and operates the different settings from afar.
Playing with a remote control vibrator can not only be fun but also can really connect you as lovers, build closeness and shared secrets, which can feel deliciously ‘naughty’ when playing in the outside world.
Long-term lovers can really benefit from playing with a remote control vibrator together as it’ll help reignite the unpredictability and spontaneity of sex.
Forget what you see in movies and TV because it’s normal for these feelings that naturally decline over time as a relationship moves from new-lust fever to the comfortableness of a few years together.
Whether playing with a remote control vibrator in public or at home, you’ll never know when or where your button’s going to be pushed and that will be incredibly exciting.
2: Remote-control vibrators are easy to use
The Remote Rabbit is great for solo play, especially if you find standard rabbit vibrators with integrated buttons fiddly.
Remote vibes are wireless and very easy to use so you can have an rabbit vibrator experience whenever you want.
3: Playing with a remote vibe involves your partner
We think that, if your partner is shy about playing with a vibrator together, a remote vibrator can be a great way to get them involved.
By handing the remote over to your partner, they get to take charge of your pleasure.
You can give them encouragement by giving instructions (more! more!) or just making sexy noises – many remote toys offer different escalating and pulsing sensations so it’s not hard to get a bit vocal about the pleasure it offers…
3. Remote control pleasure make for fun power play
Remote toys can be great for some playful power play.
The one in control gets total control of the stimulation their partner receives and for how long…
This can be incredibly arousing for both partners – Think Mr Grey and Ana. OK, so you may not want to get into the whole BDSM thing, but essentially this is what it is all about; 1 partner runs the ‘scene’ and the other relinquishes. So, if you are the one operating the remote, feel free to tease mercilessly!
4. Remote vibrators can be used on, and enjoyed by, men too..
You can choose a remote-controlled cock-ring for him to wear around his penis and use the separate control ( which uses ‘SensaMotion’ ie small movements of the hand) to send his meat and 2 veg into dizzying heights of a direct buzz…
This is quite an investment, so for a inexpensive alternative, simply have him slip your remote bullet into his jockies or trouser pocket; he’ll walk funnily when you push the control.
Either-way, what fun to watch him squirm!
5. Fires up Adrenalin when you wear a remote vibrator in public.
Adrenalin, poured out by the adrenal gland, dilates arteries and increases blood flow to the genitals.
So, simply the excitement of playing remotely will super-charge arousal.
If you are finding it hard to get turned on, playing a remote vibe can kick-start the process, let alone the actual sensations the remote vibrator will deliver…
Top Tip: Do a test-run at home before venturing out to play with a remote vibrator
Before you venture out, you’ll want to test how loud your remote-controlled toy is. Is it better suited to a bustling bar than romantic dinner for two?
Once activated, how secure do you feel “wearing” your remote control vibrator and how hard will it party in your pants? Can you dance around wildly or would you prefer to remain seated?
Talking of which: Does the remote control vibrator give itself away by vibrating the bar stool?
What’s the range? Does your remote control vibrator work across a crowded bar or does it have to be closer?
They may take quite a bit of confidence to use out ‘in public’, but whether solo or with a partner, at home or away, a remote vibrator gives you a whole new erotic journey to explore…
We hope you enjoy the journey!
If you’d like any tailored advice or recommendations on buying or using a remote-controlled vibrator please feel free to drop us a line at email@example.com.
We’ll answer you privately. We may also share your question and our response on our blog, so others may benefit, but we promise it will always be anonymous, with nothing left it to identify you.
The White Rabbit Vibrator has all the cool features that make Rabbit Vibrators such a favourite with women.
The Rabbit Vibe is a fantastic design because it has two ways of pleasing – the shaft, complete with stimulating beads that provide internal massage and G-spot stimulation – and the bunny ears that hug the clit and give a great clitoral buzz.
Rabbit with Variable Speed
Most women love the variation of speeds and styles of pleasure – with three speeds of vibration, and three speeds of rotation, you can find your perfect pace with the White Rabbit. Plus, the shaft rotation can be reversed to go in either direction for an extra surprising thrill.
Added to the friendly bunny design, it’s elegant and pretty, with cute diamante decorations studding incorporated into the handle to make it the perfect sexy accessory.
I’ve been visiting your shop for many years and I have to say, it’s great! I’m writing to request some advice about using Ben Wa Balls. I bought some from you a little while back and have tried to use them, however I’m worried about them getting lost inside me! Is it easy to get Ben Wa balls out again?
I’ve also heard a couple of stories about metal love balls setting off alarms at supermarkets – please tell me if that’s possible?
Thanks in advance.
Can Ben Wa Balls Get Lost Inside ?
Hi there, thanks for getting in touch. The Ben Wa Balls must only ever be used vaginally ( they are NOT safe for anal play)
They can’t get lost inside and are very easy to get out – because they’re quite small and heavy, we always say it’s keeping them IN you need to worry about!
There’s literally nowhere for Ben Wa Balls to go – the cervix, which sits at the top of the vagina, is a closed ring of muscle and has only just enough room for sperm to sneak through it – the only time it’s open at all is during, and right after, giving birth. There’s nowhere something the size of a Ben Wa Ball could go to, just as it’s impossible to ‘lose’ a tampon in the vagina ( though, unlike Ben Wa Balls, it is possible to forget a tampon)
Ben Wa Balls are very safe to use and are quite easy to get out.
Ben Wa Balls are made from unreactive metal and have nothing toxic in them. Because they’re heavy, they will sit near the bottom of the vagina if you’re sitting or standing up, though they may be a little deeper in if you lie down.
It’s very easy to get them out by just relaxing the pelvic floor muscles a little. It can help to take a deep breath, and relax the muscles as you exhale. It’s also possible to dip a finger inside and hook them out, or to bear down slightly, like when having a pee, and push them out.
It’s highly unlikely that Ben Wa Balls will set off alarms or security metal detectors.
Anything inside the body tends not to be picked up on those scanners – metal hip-replacement joints and metal fillings in people’s teeth, for example, don’t set off the alarms, so you should be fine with Ben Wa Balls.
We’d suggest not wearing them to go through airports, where they’ll be a little more concerned about metal objects within the body ( and nobody needs a cavity search, do they!?) but otherwise you should be fine.
If you’re nervous about putting your Ben Wa balls in, we’d suggest setting aside a while to relax and take your time over it. Switch off the mobile and have a nice bath or a glass of wine or whatever helps you to relax. This time is all for you, so you don’t have to rush or do anything uncomfortable. It’s also worth using a little bit of lubricant to help them slip in easily.
Relaxation is absolutely key to pleasure, so if you still feel a bit worried ablout having unconnected pleasure balls inside of you, we suggest Sh! Silicone Love Balls – slightly larger than Ben Wa, but still small, heavy, completely coated in body-safe silicone and with a retrieval cord for peace of mind.
Hope all this helps – please do give us a shout if you have any more questions.
I was in your shop a couple of weeks back and as a single man I really appreciated that you let me in, and were patient enough to answer all my questions!
Anyway, to come to the point, I wanted to ask you – how common is female ejaculation? I’ve experienced female ejaculation with previous partners but not with my current girlfriend, and I was wondering whether, with a small G-spot dildo, patience and dedication, I might be able to do this for her?
Thanks very much – and thank you again for making my visit to the shop so enjoyable!
Thanks for getting in touch – and glad to hear you enjoyed your visit to the shop.
How Common is Female Ejaculation?
Lots of women experience female ejaculation but don’t realise, or worse, hold back because it ejaculation feels very like the urge to pee. Regarding female ejaculation, it’s something that varies a great deal from woman to woman. Some women find it very easy, others never experience it. It’s worth talking to your partner about what she gets out of G-Spot stimulation. The best way to go about it is to play around with G-Spot stimulation and see what feels good for her. Taking time and talking about it is crucial, as it’s the best way to find out what she likes.
Because the G-Spot sits right under the bladder and around the urethra, G-Spot stimulation can make a woman feel like she suddenly needs to go to the loo. It’s common for women to clench up at that point and try not to ‘let go’, because we’re all very conditioned not to pee in bed! It can really help her to relax if you try this in the shower or the bath first, or even just put a towel on the bed.
Specially curved G-spot toys can be really helpful as the bend makes it easier (and less tiring!) to provide the sustained stimulation the G-spot loves, than by hand alone.
We would recommend a glass G-Spot dildo which is firm, smooth, and with a drop of lube, incredibly sensual for g spot play.
More about Female Ejaculation
There’s also a couple of good books we can recommend – The Clitoral Truth and also Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot, both of which are excellent guides to female ejaculation.
These should help with G-spot stimulation, but as you say ejaculation is not too common and it depends on each individual woman. We’d suggest not focussing just on ejaculation – there’s lots of fun to be had and things to be discovered trying for female ejaculation, so enjoy the journey too.
There’s a few recurring questions we get asked a lot here at Sh! – here’s the answer to one of them.
I’ve been looking for some women-friendly porn for ages – something hardcore and hot, but not the usual man-focussed stuff where it’s all about the man.
I’ve noticed you have some female-focussed DVDs, but they are all rated 18 and not R18. Why is that?
Thanks for your query. There’s a couple of reasons we aren’t able to supply R18 DVDs to our customers – much as we’d like to. At Sh! we believe that if you want to watch hot films that’s up to you, but we’re stuck with some antiquated laws which mean we’re restricted in what we can sell.
Restrictions on DVD’s
DVDs which show penetration or ejaculation are rated as R18, and anything with an R18 certificate is covered by different laws.
Here at Sh! HQ where we run the Mail-Order side of the business, we’re not able to send out R18 DVDs through the post, since it’s actually illegal in this country (though many websites do it anyway).
So what about in the shop? Only a licensed Sex Shop can sell R18 films, and we’ve chosen not to get a license at our Hoxton Store at the moment. Not because the fee is pretty heavy – we’d happily pay it to be able to supply our customers with what they like – but because we’d also have to change our door policy. Licensed Sex Shops can’t allow anyone under the age of 18 onto their premises, which would mean banning mums with tots from the premises.
Sex Shop Accessible to Mothers
One of the things we really want to do at Sh! is keep it accessible for all women – and we’re not gonig to ban mothers with youngsters. We reckon it’s up to mums to decide if the non-graphic, non-scary, atmosphere of Sh! is ok for their baby or toddler, which is why we haven’t got the Sex Shop License, which would take that decision out of our hands.
We’d also have to put up a sign at the door warning that we have ‘obscene material’ within. We’re proud of our selection of goodies at Sh! and don’t think they’re ‘obscene’ – and guilt-tripping our lovely customers at the door isn’t quite our style either.
But here’s the good news
In the last few years, some really lovely female-focused, certificate 18 porn has been made. We’re really liking the work of Anna Span, Britain’s first female porn director, whose hot DVDs offer a genuine female point of view, guys who are hot not just well-endowed, and best of all, women who look like they’re in control and having fun!
We’re also very keen on Petra Joy, whose ‘Sensual Seduction’ is a different style of erotic DVD – she uses dream-sequences and lots of props to create the ultimate sensual seduction, based on real women’s fantasies and starring real-life lovers.
Hope this helps explain the reasoning behind our policy. Please do give us a shout with any more questions.
These delicate Pearl Cuffs are perfect for accessorising your princess. Made up of five rows of pearly beads, and linked with a length of elegant silver chain, these wrist cuffs can be adjusted to fit a variety of sizes. Better suited to gentle scenes, they look beautiful when placed on a submissive who’s been dressed to impress.
The Bijoux Indiscrets Nipple Jewellery are stick-on rhinestone decorations that are placed directly on to the areola for an fantastically sexy look. Wear without a bra, under a bra for a peek-a-boo surprise, use as an alternative to pasties, or with a stylish corset – the options for nipple jewellery are many!
Feathery Wrist Cuffs
The gorgeous Bling Bling Marabou Cuffs are made of soft feathers linked together by an elegant chain, making them perfect for light bondage. The Bling Bling Set also comes with a pot of lickable body shimmer and a feather tickler to tease your lover with.
Gorgeous goodies – perfect for spicing up your weekend!
Female masturbation is still something of a hidden, if not a taboo topic.
Men learn from an early age and are given permission to do so, with fond jokes abounding about what goes on in teenage boys bedrooms and why there is a surplus of single socks ( for those not in the know, socks are a boy”s masturbatory best-friend apparently! 😉
Girls ‘playing with themselves’ are not given the same seal of approval, even nowadays. We guess this is due to old attitudes that boys/men have more wilder ‘urges’ and that it’s natural for boys to masturbate, but not for girls – which, of course it complete bumf as its natural for everybody to masturbate!
It’s also to do with the different ways boys and girls are socialized. Girls are taught to be the nurturers, and as masturbation in self-centered ( in the BEST possible way!) it’s seen as going against female ‘giving’ nature.
And there’s the physical differences, of course. Male bits are quite simply visible, in 3 easy parts and right *there* to see and feel, whereas female bits are hidden and quite complicated!
But, despite these sometimes barriers to our learning to self-love, there’s every reason for girls and women to masturbate and here’s 6 of the best…
1. Masturbate to Learn
We reckon it’s great for women in particular to learn about their own bodies’ responses from masturbation.
Films and magazines give us unrealistic ideas of what sex should look and feel like – but there’s no substitute for first-hand research.
Knowing what feels good makes it that much easier to tell a lover what we like – or even to show them.
2. Masturbate to Try New Things
Masturbation is a great way to explore new pleasures, at your own pace.
If you’re considering playing with a first vibrator, but are not sure you’ll enjoy the buzz, curious about anal play , but worried you’ll hate it or drawn to a strap-on toy, but not sure you could work it, experimenting by yourself banishes all newbie nerves or performance anxiety you may have if your partner was involved.
3. Masturbate to Take the Pressure Off
Masturbation can also be good for women who find orgasms a little more elusive.
Taking some time out to yourself takes the pressure off and gives you time to explore and try out other styles of stimulation, like vibrators.
Vibrators boost circulation, and they can give the fast, consistent stimulation that can really help women get off.
Old friends the Classic Rabbit Vibrators, with their clit-hugging ears, are effective vibes if you find orgasms trickier to reach.
4. Masturbate to Feel Good
Masturbation is great exercise: it gets your pulses racing, your blood pumping and puts a spring in your step.
It’s also got a huge feel-good factor – hormones released during arousal and orgasm make you happy and snuggly, so masturbation is the perfect way to give yourself a good-mood boost.
Depending on how it works for you, it can be a helpful way to get to sleep, or it can get you wide-awake and feeling energized.
5. Masturbate to Pamper Yourself
There’s also a lot of benefit in taking some time out to pamper yourself.
If you’re unusually busy or stressed, taking an evening to look after number one is a great idea.
It is very tricky, especially for women, to find good, honest and clear information about masturbation and sexuality, as we know from of many years of talking and listening to women about it this very subject!
So we’re going to share our top few of our favourite sex guides which cover female masturbation in all it’s fabulous forms….
Best Book for Clitoral-Focused Masturbation
The Clitoral Truth, by Rebecca Chalker, gives a detailed and fascinating account of the clitoris – the only human organ intended entirely for pleasure!
Rebecca Chalker draws on the knowledge of women doctors and patients and dramatically rethinks the dominant assumptions about women and sexuality.
Accompanied by lively drawings, and articles on the G-Spot and orgasms as well as the biology of the clitoris, The Clitoral Truth is highly recommended!
Best Book For Exploring G-Spot Masturbation & Pleasure
Specifically aimed at women interested in exploring anal pleasure, this expanded second edition is a cover-all guide to enjoying anal sex on your own as well as with a partner, communicating about anal sex, giving as well as receiving, and even anal power play.
The first book ever to deal specifically with anal sex for women, Tristan Taormino’s work is a fantastic resource whether you’re curious about anal sex, a beginner, or rapidly qualifying to be an anal Expert!
Best All-Round Guide Cover Masturbation, Sexuality & Sexual Pleasure for all Genders
Written by women who have spent many years working in America’s Good Vibrations store, it answers pretty much every question about sex and sexuality you could think of…
It’s a guide for anyone and everyone and covers masturbation and self-love, in detail, as well as oral sex, anal sex, S/M, and much more! We love the down-to earth tone, broad range of topics covered and its inclusivity of all sexualities and genders – this book really covers it all!
So, there’s a few of our favourite sex guides that specifically cover female masturbation and self pleasure ( though they also cover partner-pleasure too) These are classics that have stood the test of time; super informative, and handy to have around.
Please Note: Theses guides will *always* be on our store and virtual shelves, so long as we can get our hands on them. If they show as out of stock, or even discontinued, this is because they are re-printing and thus unfortunately there will be a long wait – please be patient!
In 1974 (18 years before Sh! opened its doors and gave women a chance to buy their own sex toys in a relaxed & informative environment), Shere Hite published ‘The Hite Report On Female Sexuality’, an account of the first large research project which had asked women about their experiences of masturbation and sex.
Hite was reacting against all the previous studies (made by male researchers) which assumed that ‘sex = heterosexual intercourse’. Hite researched women’s experiences of all forms of sexuality, including masturbation. Before the Hite Report, it was believed that only a minority of women ever masturbated. Hite’s research showed that 82% of women masturbated regularly and of them 95% had no difficulty reaching orgasm.
At the time this was a revolutionary statistic, as it was widely assumed that women were slow to get turned on and found orgasms difficult to reach, based on studies of heterosexual intercourse. Hite was the first to reveal that women can and do have satisfying experiences of masturbation, and that clit stimulation, rather than penetration, is the secret of satisfaction for most of us. Hite was able to categorise six different styles of masturbation. (The figures are a bit different today; this research was done pre-Rabbit-Vibrator, before That Madonna Video and pre-Sh!).
We have had a look at the list and come up with some suggestions for what style works with which of our fabulous toys.
73% of women said they masturbate by lying on their backs and stimulating their clits directly.
This classic style can be combined with a Finger Vibrator for an extra thrill, or with a small bullet vibrator.
5.5% of women described masturbating while lying on their stomachs.
This style is cosy and allows for lots of variations. An egg vibrator would be ideal with this style – they’re small, strong and have separate controls for easy access when you want to turn up the buzz. For a more direct buzz, try the Rabbit Ears Clit Vibe – rabbit ears are fantastic for focused clitoral simulation.
4% of women rub themselves on an object – soft or hard – without touching themselves with their hands.
Indirect stimulation can also be really sensuous – the whole genital region is very sensitive and some women find that rubbing gives them exactly what they need. Try combining this style with vibration – Je Joue Mimi Soft pebble vibe is a perfect shape for providing widespread buzz, or the Wand Massager, with its large vibrating head, is also great for women who like this style.
Other women masturbate by rhythmically tensing and relaxing their thighs to squeeze their clit.
This is a great style for long bus journeys, as it’s super subtle. To complement this style, we think reckon Love Balls would be fantastic to add a little G-Spot sensation, plus they give your PC muscles an extra work-out. Alternatively, very small bullets like the Sh! Bullet Vibe which is small enough to be tucked between your lips for a lot of buzz, are a great addition to this style.
Water Massage – 2% of women use the shower head.
This style can be combined with waterproof toys for a really luscious experience. Alternatively, to recreate the feel of water-massage on dry land, we’d suggest the Flexi Wand which has a gentle fluttery motion.
1.5% of women reported using vaginal penetration and more than half of them combined it with clit stimulation.
Rabbit Vibrators provides both in one cute package. With a shaft that rotates, plus the fantastic bunny ears that give very focused clit vibration, the Rabbit vibes are great all-round toys. Sh! Cupid 3 vibrating dildo can be used for thrilling penetration plus a bit of buzz, and any dildo can be used to combine with manual clit-play, if your fingers work best for you.
11% of women reported using a combination of these styles
To play mix and match with stimulation, we still reckon the rabbit vibe has a bit of everything. Variations on dual pleasure vibes include the G-Spot Dual Vibrator, Fun Factory Paul & Paulina and the fantastic Delight vibrator, all of which give both vaginal and clitoral stimulation. Hite’s research showed that women’s masturbation techniques are much more varied than was previously believed, and that penetrative sex isn’t the only thing that women can enjoy. We wholeheartedly agree – we reckon we’ve got something sexy for everyone!