Impact-Play-Blog-POst

Impact Play: a 360 on Spanking – a class with Lola Jean

Following two sold-out classes with Lola Jean earlier this year, we are delighted to announce her return to Sh!

This time, Lola Jean will present three classes at Sh! and if you missed her last visit, you really gotta get in quick coz we’re expecting tickets to sell quicker than 99-Flakes in the sunshine!

Lola Jean at Sh!

The first class, Impact Play: a 360 on Spanking will take place on Friday 28th of June and if you read on, we’ll tell you all about it.

IMPACT PLAY (N.): Impact play is a practice in which one person (the bottom) is struck (usually repeatedly) by another person (the Top) for the gratification of either or both parties.

Learn when and where impact play can be more useful/beneficial.

Whether someone is a pain slut or a beginner, impact play can be a reward just as much as a punishment. Bring the art of the tease into your impact play.

We will answer questions like: do you have to like pain to like impact play? Who is impact play for? Is it the same as spanking and whipping? How can I use impact play?

Based on methods your impact play can feel like a massage or like pins and needles. In this class, we review different toys and methods of impact play on the feet, butt, back, chest and genital area. From floggers to canes to a good old fashioned hand spanking, learn how to utilize each tool on multiple parts of the body.

The class will conclude with designated time to demonstrate different types of aftercare for appropriate situations. This class is open to Doms, subs, or none of the above and all genders and orientations.

Join Us!

Who is Lola Jean?

American Lola Jean is Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme, Writer, and Volume Squirting World Record Holder. (And with a sex-CV like that, it’s no wonder women of all ages flock to her classes, keen on learning from the best!)

Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of.

Lola’s background in the mental health field gives her a deep understanding to the mental blocks many individuals may face. A sex geek to the core, Lola continues to develop her teachings and avenues where she can spread her sexpertise to the world.

As featured in The New York Times, Elite Daily and Men’s Health, Lola offers a variety of FemDom, Wrestling, Squirting, and Masturbation classes and frequently makes appearances performing at House of Yes and The Box.

More Classes with Lola Jean This Summer!

Dr-Lori-Beth-Bisbey-with-Roses

Being Present During Sex: a workshop with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

Join me, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey for a workshop on how to stay fully present during sex.

Mindfulness is the term often used to refer to being present. I prefer being present. The practice is spoken about in Buddhism and the term used is Sati.

Sati in plain speak means remembrance or recollection. However, when used in relation to meditation, it refers to an ‘a mental state in which one/recollects/remembers the activity that one is engaged in, in the present moment’ as John Peacock says.

For me, mindfulness is about staying fully present in the moment. When I say fully, I am speaking of thought, feeling, body, spirit. All awareness in the moment. In this way, to talk about being mindful doesn’t really sit well as the word seems to forgo emotion, physical sensation, and spirit.

I prefer to speak of staying fully present or becoming fully present. For many people, staying present is incredibly difficult. The mind wanders off or is triggered into some memory or other. The emotions are triggered and you begin to think/feel the past or think/feel about the future.

When mindfulness is first taught, people are often taught to focus on breath. Though many teachers find this the easiest access point, I do not. I prefer to have my clients learn to observe using their senses first. I prefer to talk about becoming grounded into the present.

In this workshop, we will practice a variety of methods of becoming and staying present in relationships, during conflict or difficult discussions and during sex.


Book Your Ticket For ‘Being Present During Sex’ Here

All genders & sexualities welcome

Ticket price includes Prosecco & cake


Who is Dr Lori Beth Bisbey?

Dr-Lori-Beth-Bisbey-Blog-PostDr Lori Beth Bisbey is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach with over 30 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups helping them to create and maintain their ideal intimate relationships. She has special expertise in working with the aftermath of trauma, working in the areas of gender and sexual diversity, and is kink and polyamory knowledgeable.

Lori Beth hosts a weekly podcast (the A to Z of Sex) and a weekly radio show: The A to Z of Sex ® with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey on the Sexy Lifestyle Network, one vlog on YouTube, has two blogs and writes for a variety of websites and media.

Lori Beth speaks regularly in the UK and USA on topics relating to relationships with sex. She can be found on http://drloribethbisbey.com where both her podcast and radio show can be accessed. She has consulting rooms in central London and sees clients from all over the world via Zoom.

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a polyamorous CIS gendered queer leather woman, married and in a 24/7 power exchange relationship with her husband. She can be emailed at loribeth@drloribethbisbey.com

Pronouns: She, Her

DS-in-BDSM-Blog-Post

The DS in BDSM: Power Exchange/Authority Transfer Class with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

The DS in BDSM: Power Exchange/Authority Transfer Power exchange dynamics/ Authority Transfer-based relationships are ones in which one party is in charge (dominant) and the other party submits or surrenders to the person in charge (submissive). There are many names for this type of relationship: Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/property, Top/bottom.

Does the idea of surrendering control to a partner turn you on? Have you wondered what it would be like to have a partner rush to fulfill your every desire or bow to your will?

Does an ‘old fashioned’ relationship where you obey your partner and your partner takes responsibility for looking after you turn you on? Do you find sex dull when it is soft, gentle and both of you are sharing equally? Do you crave rough intense sexual exchanges?

Wrist-Cuffs

If the idea of power exchange in your relationship is one that intrigues you, excites you, or if you have tried to create a dominant/submissive dynamic in a relationship but it was not successful or what you had dreamed it would be, then this talk by Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is for you.

During this talk, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey will cover the following:
  • How this type of relationship works
  • Why a person would want to be in this type of relationship
  • The sexy and exciting bits of authority transfer in and out of the bedroom
  • Taking control of another person – the overview
  • Surrendering control to another person – the overview
  • A brief primer on consent and negotiation

Join us!

All genders & sexualities welcome


More about Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

Dr-Lori-Beth-Bisbey-Blog-PostDr Lori Beth Bisbey is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach with over 30 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups helping them to create and maintain their ideal intimate relationships. She has special expertise in working with the aftermath of trauma, working in the areas of gender and sexual diversity, and is kink and polyamory knowledgeable.

Lori Beth hosts a weekly podcast (the A to Z of Sex) and a weekly radio show: The A to Z of Sex ® with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey on the Sexy Lifestyle Network, one vlog on YouTube, has two blogs and writes for a variety of websites and media.

Lori Beth speaks regularly in the UK and USA on topics relating to relationships with sex. She can be found on http://drloribethbisbey.com where both her podcast and radio show can be accessed. She has consulting rooms in central London and sees clients from all over the world via Zoom.

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a polyamorous CIS gendered queer leather woman, married and in a 24/7 power exchange relationship with her husband. She can be emailed at loribeth@drloribethbisbey.com

Pronouns: She, Her

FemDom-Class-Finished

FemDom Class with Lola Jean

 You’re probably already Domming….and you didn’t even know it.

Someone who knows a little (a lot, actually!) about Domming is Lola Jean, a professional Pro Domme, Wrestler & Writer from the US. On a mission to share her sexpertise with the world, we are BEYOND thrilled to tell you Lola Jean will be joining us for an evening of Domming at Sh! on March 1st!

New to Female Domination and not sure where to start? You may think it’s all leather and whips but that’s only a very, very small portion of how domination can manifest. There is no single right way within FemDom. Every Domme has their own style, and every sub requires a different approach. Will you rule with the promise of reward? Or the threat of punishment?

Learn how to use your powers for good with the right intent and calculation. If anything, use this class to not only learn how to Dom/me but what good and ethical Domming looks like versus the opposite.

In this class, we will go back to the basics. Use building blocks like Honorifics and exercises to develop your Domme persona or their sub-persona.

Learn how to determine pain thresholds, reading your sub, aftercare and more…

Refine your skills, gain new inspiration, methods, and embrace your inner Domme.

Learn how to seduce your partner into playing submissively – after all, who doesn’t love a bit of worship?

Bringing your partner to sub space requires an immense amount of trust. Learn the lingo and gain all the tools to prepare you for the fun and exciting world of FemDom. You’re going to like it here.

Barbie-Dommes-Final

More About Goddess Lola Jean

American Lola Jean is Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme, Writer, and self-proclaimed Olympian Squirter. And with a sex-CV like that, it’s no wonder women of all ages flock to her classes, keen on learning from the best!

Lola-Jean-Squirting-Queen

Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of.

Lola’s background in the mental health field gives her a deep understanding to the mental blocks many individuals may face. A sex geek to the core, Lola continues to develop her teachings and avenues where she can spread her sexpertise to the world.

As featured in The New York Times, Elite Daily and Men’s Health, Lola offers a variety of FemDom, Wrestling, Squirting, and Masturbation classes and frequently makes appearances performing at House of Yes and The Box.

 Book Your Ticket Here!


Make the most of Lola Jean’s visit to London by booking a ticket to her Unlock Your Squirting Sexcess class on Tuesday 1st of March  2019 too!

Rope-Blog-Post-Final

Rope Bondage 101 Erotic Class

Attending an erotic class can feel exciting and daunting at the same time: What happens? Who attends? How do I know if it’s for me?

The first thing to know is that our educators are all super-friendly, professional and keen on passing on tips & advice to ensure you have great fun both in class and once you get back home.

Our classes are designed to build confidence, give a solid understanding of safety and encourage creative thinking (slapping a pair of handcuffs on someone is the easy part. The harder part is working out what you’re going to do with your willing submissive once the cuffs are on!).

What to Expect at Our Rope Bondage Class

Before the class starts, we’ll offer fizz and French Fancies to help settle any nerves.  However, rope play is best enjoyed with a clear mind, so we’ll cut off the alcohol supply before anyone gets too merry!

Our rope bondage class is suitable for beginners, and our friendly team will start with safety (what kind of rope to use, safewords and positioning) before moving on to the planning of a scene.

After this, there’ll be a practical part, where guests will learn to tie basic knots. For this segment, guests will need to work in pairs: if you’re attending with a partner, you’ll practice on each other. If you’re attending on your own, we’ll pair you with another guest (female) or a member of our team (depending on availability).

This class doesn’t include a lot of bending or moving, and there won’t be any floor work.

There will, of course, be an opportunity to ask questions at the end of the class.

After the class ends, guests will be invited to make the most out of the whopping 20% discount that’ll be offered.

In case you are wondering – because many do – the class is fully dressed at all times, including during the practical.

Sounds like fun? Then book a ticket (or several, as we offer discounts for group bookings) for the Rope Bondage 101 Class here: Sh! Rope Class

Please note: this class is for women & couples only. If you are a lone male wanting to attend, we ask that you come along with a female friend.

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Sharing is caring! Your ultimate guide to group sex

Sharing is caring! Your ultimate guide to group sex

Group sex is a fantasy for many, but you’d be surprised at the number of people from all walks of life who enjoy playing out their biggest desires and participating in safe and satisfying encounters with two or more people.

From thrilling threesomes to organised group sex events, there are so many opportunities to explore your desires in the company of other like-minded people. But before you whip off those French knickers and arm yourself with your fave vibrator and plenty of lube, there are a few golden rules when it comes to sharing sexual experiences with others.

Safety first!

Before you get those juices flowing, the most important aspect of any group sex soiree is definitely safety. Any group sex aficionado will tell you that safe and hygienic group fun starts with the right products, so make sure that you have the right kit before you get your kit off!

via GIPHY

Condoms are a must, so if you’re planning your own get together, then it’s up to you to be a good host and provide a good stash of them in easy reach.

Likewise, a few anti-bacterial wipes for giving those favourite toys a proper cleansing before and after your event are essential, so make sure that they are specially created for this purpose to protect your vibrators, love beads and strap-ons from germs. You’ll also need to ensure that they’re kind to your intimate parts too because it’s not going to much fun if your guests are too sore and itchy to join in!

Our favourite tot cleaner? Why, thank yuo for asking! We love the Sh! antibacterial and detergent free sex toy spray – a quck & easy way to keeps toys clean and ready for next go-round!

Do your research

If you know what you want but are currently unsure of how to find it, then doing research is paramount to ensuring you have a fun, positive and safe experience.

Most parties are organised when a group of friends (or friends of friends) with similar preferences come together. Sometimes, a host rents a large-scale venue and invites all those who are in the know. This means that if you find yourself on the edge without any connection to actually realising your fantasy, it can be tricky to find a legitimate event to attend with like-minded people. Fetlife, for instance, is a great resource for any kinksters wanting to unleash their inner dommes and subs.

If you’re looking to attend a group sex event organised by someone else, you’ll need to be 100% clear on what you can expect. There are so many get-togethers that cater for different tastes, so if you’re a newbie to the wonderful world of group sex, then it’s best to see if there are any ‘themes’ such as partner swapping, pegging or anything else that might pique your interest.

Many groups have also general do’s and don’t’s that their members must adhere to. This could involve rules about mobile phones, dress codes or who can/cannot attend specific events. Again, it’s important to be aware of all this beforehand to avoid any awkwardness upon arrival.

If you feel it’s not for you, politely decline and find something else.

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Play nicely

You can’t just expect to turn up at a group sex event as many of them are by invitation only, or they at least want to get to know you a bit better before getting down to business. You might be asked to join them for a coffee (but remain fully clothed! This is a brew and a chat, not an orgy at this stage!) or have a chance to meet and greet a few other group members before the fun starts, so use this as your opportunity to discover a little more about them, their preferences and see if they’d be happy to enjoy some experiences with you later.

Remember that no matter how “loose” or beyond your usual realities a party gets, it is all about respect.

 

 

 

Janet-W-Hardy-Blog-POst

Janet W Hardy Talks Kink at Sh! in October

Exciting news, kinksters!

Janet W Hardy, Author, Speaker & Teacher is coming to town and she’ll be hosting a talk at Sh!

Here’s the class blurb: Mommy’s hard palm, Daddy’s big belt, Coach’s paddle, Mistress’s cane: few BDSM activities are as erotically and emotionally charged as spanking. Whether you’re a jaded aficionado or a nervous-but-excited novice, there’s always more to learn about the craft and art of butt-whacking. Come discover how to negotiate the scene you want, play the roles that excite you, pace a spanking for maximum pain and/or pleasure, understand your partner’s anatomy and physiology, surf the pain so you can accept the sensations you crave, choose implements for sensation and drama, select positions appropriate to your goals, and much more.

We are so excited our butt cheeks are practically quivering!

We’re expecting this talk to sell out quickly, so best be booking your ticket now:

Where: Sh! 31-35 Pitfield Street, London N1 6HB

When: Friday 5th October | 6:30pm

Price: £15 per person

Book your ticket here: Warm Hand, Warm Heart


For those of you new to or unfamiliar with sluthood or ethical kink, here’s what you need to know about Janet:

Janet-W-Hardy-Doing-Up-TieJanet W. Hardy is the author or coauthor of twelve groundbreaking books about relationships and sexuality, including The Ethical Slut (more than 200,000 copies sold to date, including the third edition published in 2017 by Ten Speed Press).

Janet has traveled the world as a speaker and teacher on topics ranging from ethical multipartner relationships to erotic spanking and beyond. She has appeared in documentary films (Slut, Beyond Vanilla, Vice and Consent, BDSM: It’s Not What You Think), television shows (SexTV, The Dr. Susan Block Show), and more radio shows than she can count.

Janet’s writing has appeared in publications as various as The Sondheim Review, Clamor and EIDOS. Her book Girlfag: A Life Told In Sex and Musicals was a finalst for both the Lambda Literary Award and the Bisexual Book Award, and her essay “Ex” was a finalist in the Event and New Letters creative nonfiction contests. “The Portal,” a very personal essay about vaginas and their relationship to gender (which is not necessarily what one might think), appeared in Best Sex Writing 2010 (Cleis Press, 2009), and “The Old Folks At Home,” an essay about aging in an ambiguously gendered relationship, appeared in Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation (Seal Press, 2010).

Janet serves as Editorial Director for Greenery Press, the firm she founded in 1992, as well as for Down There Press. She also runs The Active Voice, which offers editorial, event and promotional consulting.

She often fantasizes about being handcuffed to Stephen Sondheim’s piano.


With no less than 12 must-read books about relationships and sexuality written or co-written by Janet, it can be tricky to know where to start. Here are our top four picks:

Topping

Bottoming

The Sexually Dominant Woman

The Ethical Slut

Kink-101-Erotic-Class

NEW: Kink 101 Erotic Class

Got kink on your mind?

Join experienced psychotherapist Deborah Fields of Greymatters Psychotherapy for an evening of delving deep into the psychology of kink: Why does it feel so good – or bad?

Debs, a qualified and experienced psychotherapist as well as an established workshop teacher on the kink scene, will share her extensive knowledge of the topic and she’ll probably have you giggling too!

This brand new workshop is for everyone who loves and or hates that word. More so for those curious. Take some first steps into the real 50 Shades and realise it’s an awesome rainbow versus grey. Let’s look at what you could want from sex and kink. This will explore the basics from a personal and professional perspective.

 

Debs-Kink-101An established workshop teacher, Debs is a therapist and supervisor with a successful private practice, who also happens to be human and a mum.

She is also known for running multiple workshops on the fetish scene and at therapy conferences.

Follow Debs on Twitter.

 

Sign up for some laughter with a woman with her own experience of life, sex, and kink, personal and professional.


Are you a psychology professional?

If so, attending this class will get you a CPD certificate!

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Spanking – Why do people really like it?

Spanking – Why do people really like it?

There is a fine line between pleasure and pain and for many that line is blurred entirely when it comes to spanking.

Whether performed as simply a playful pat on the behind, to pep up another sexual act or as a BDSM scene, there is no denying that some people just can’t get enough of spanking and / or being spanked!

So, just what is it about spanking that’s so irresistible?

It feels really good!

Lets start with the with the obvious; Spanking feels really good! The buttock area is a fairly well-protected muscular region and also home to fair few nerve endings, so it’s no surprise most of us respond with pleasure when our partner slaps our rear during a sex-sesh.

Although they may seem jiggly, our buttocks are actually where we hold a lot of tension.  Spanking, as the slap or paddle vibrates through the muscle, is actually just another form of buttock massage and a great way of releasing tension.

Considering we often sit on them all day, the bum-cheeks are actually very sensitive and responsive to a whole range of sensations; from the lightest tickle, through to warming smacks and onto teeth-clenching whacks… Contrasting sensations really builds-up arousal and is a sure-fire way to have your partner begging you for more.

Body Feather Pom Tickler £6
Body Feather Pom Tickler £6

Add even more sensation to your spanking session by bringing this Body Feather Tickler Pom into the mix and gently caressing their butocks and inner thighs between smacks.

And finally, whilst we’re on the physical feel-good factor of spanking, there are the Endorphins that are released as the body reacts to  the ‘pain’ and sends in the natural pain-killers to help ( the name “endorphin” comes from “endogenous morphine”)

Spanking allows us to relinquish control …. or gain it.

For those in high-powered or taxing jobs, where it’s wall-to-wall decisions and/or stress all day, the chance to relinquish  control, bend over and be on the receiving end  of a good, old spanking is an opportunity to cease the usual top-dog position  or stressed-out situation and give into the commands and actions of somebody else.

Similarly, those who perhaps feel that they don’t have much control over circumstances in day to day life may relish in the opportunity to ask their beau’s to bend-over.

Getting down with some hanky-spanky  allows players to perform in a way they may not get the chance to, in everyday life, and this switching or exploring of new roles can be huge turn on.

Soft Spanking Paddle £30
Soft Spanking Paddle £30

Want to explore the physiological pleasures of spanking without any real physical pain? This buttock-shaped Leather Heart Spanking Paddle with contrasting sides of silky leather and soft-fur is ideal for delivering a perfectly soft spanking, along with that all-important ‘thwack’-sound!

Spanking can increase intimacy

Whether light and playful or more impactful on the body and mind, negotiating a spanking session is all about communication and good communication increases intimacy.

One study revealed that couples who engage in power-play together will experience an increase in relationship closeness and a reduction in physiological stress.

Even if it’s just a playful bout, consent should always be sought and it’s easy enough to do. Simply ask the question ‘Do you like that?’

For more intense playtime, it’s time to talk about safe-words. The bottom is well-padded and so long as you stay clear away from bony areas like hip joints or base of the spine and your spanking implement is traditional paddle-shaped ( ie wide and flat) then you can’t do lasting physical damage. But it can still hurt, so the spankee  needs a safe word to ensure they are in full control of the intensity they receive.

To ramp things up this Fifty Shades of Grey Spanking Paddle is  delivers firm

Fifty Shades of Grey Spanking Paddle £30
Fifty Shades of Grey Spanking Paddle £30

It feels naughty!

Madonna’s ‘Hanky Spanky’,  movie moments – elements of popular culture have meant that spanking has gained traction and is more acceptable as quite a commonplace sexual behaviour, but there’s still something about a spanking session that feels ever so naughty….

Spanking is synonymous with chastisement, which comes from the old French word ‘chastiier‘ meaning “to warn, advise, instruct, admonish, punish dominate or tame’

There’s something incredibly hot about performing an act that you feel departs from the ordinary and perhaps even better when there is a hint of play-acting about it.

A crop, with it’s bendy stem and equestrian connotations is perfect for posturing and threatening to ‘tame’ a partner, but it’s a toy to use cautiously as the hard, narrow stem doesn’t diffuse sensation like a flat, wide paddle.

For anyone other than experienced BDSMers, the leather tip on the end of the crop is the place to focus your aim with.   Flicked quickly, rhythmically, across the buttocks and between thighs  the tip can provide a sensational chastisement that is light but effective.

 

Slap & Tickle Crop & Feather Kit £22
Slap & Tickle Crop & Feather Kit £22

 

Slap & Tickle Crop and Feather Kit couples a crop with a long ostrich feather for a double whammy of contrasting sensation sticks that can be used to deliver alternating sensations to send nerve-endings into over-drive.

 

There’s no denying that spanking is really enjoyable, and that’s really all any sex act should be. To keep it this way, make sure that you discuss your boundaries with your partner and are both clear about what you want to gain from the experience.

 

To learn more about the fine art of spanking, how to introduce it or how to perfect it,  come to our next Spanking Erotic Class and get the low-down on spank-down!

Handcuff B&W

Fun ways that you can play with handcuffs

If you enjoy the feeling of being dominated and restricted during sex, you should definitely consider investing in a pair of handcuffs.

Not only are they fun and relatively easy to use, you can also use them in a number of different ways to spice up your bedroom activity.

Read on for our top suggestions of games you can play whilst being handcuffed.

Handcuff your wrists in front of you

If you still want to have an element of access and control, ask your partner to cuff your wrists in front of you. This will allow you to still reach down and play with yourself while your partner is penetrating you or giving you oral sex. Stroking and playing with your clitoris during penetration is brilliant, because it’ll likely help you to reach orgasm much more easily. For this, we recommend a pair of soft silicone restraints as they’ll feel both comfortable and safe. Try it!

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Handcuff your wrists to your partner’s wrist

This one is great for those times when you’re feeling super-hot and experimental. Once you’re handcuffed to each other, see what new and exciting positons you can try out. Being restricted makes it challenging in the best way possible. You never know, you might just find a new position that you can’t get enough of!

If you want a little bit more movement, you can easily attach rope to the D-rings of these leather cuffs.

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Leave them on the bedside table

We know what you’re thinking. What’s the point in having beautiful satin restraints if you aren’t going to use them? Bear with us: restraints can be a great way to tease and tempt your partner. When you are getting into things, try climbing on top of them and telling them that if they don’t do exactly as you say, you’re going to tie them to the bed and have your wicked way with them. They might beg you to do just that, but either way the mental image of being dominated is enough to get both of you going…

Satin Ties with D-Rings

Handcuff your partner to a chair

Ensure that they have no way of getting away, and then perform a sexy striptease for them in lingerie that makes you feel and look amazing. They’ll be begging you to free their hands so that they can run them all over you.

You could even handcuff your partner to the sink while you take a shower. The image of you with water running all over your body is sure to get their heart racing. Once you get out of the shower, take the handcuffs off and tell your partner that you want them to take control. Wowzers!

Steel cuffs