For many men, the female body can be a challenge to navigate around at the best of times, and pleasing a woman sexually can seem nay on impossible at the worst.
We know this, because our customers share so many intimate details with us. Sometimes customers share because they are over the moon (“I had my first orgasm last night!”), and other times they share out of frustration (“Why doesn’t he just do it the way I want it?!).
A common complaint is that male partners, in particular, are going at it too fast, too hard or in all the wrong places.
What many men haven’t yet realized, is that women need their parts stimulated in the right way for the right amount of time in order to orgasm – and the right way for the right amount of time varies from woman to woman, and even from one sexual encounter to the next.
A number of despairing female customers have asked us to put together a little print-out-and-keep-guide for their guys, so grab yourself a cuppa and settle down coz here we go!
(And, of course, these tips work for any lover of women – not just fellas!)
Nipple sensitivity varies from woman to woman, but for most of us, the nipples are a great place to start. A word of warning here: a lot of guys like to handle the nip-tips like they’re tuning in a radio but trust us, few women enjoy this manhandling move…
Instead, start off gently, teasing, cupping and stroking her breasts. Treat them with the respect they deserve. Once she pushes closer to you, it’s time to get lips and tongue involved.
For added fun, why not drizzle some caramel or chocolate sauce over her nipples – you can then spend however long you like licking it off.
As her breathing increases, lick and suck faster for added intensity. If you really want to excite her, a gentle nibble every now and then will do the trick.
These hands-free nipple massagers are great fun and come highly recommended. They attach directly to the skin around the nipple and offer gentle suction whilst you work your way down her body…
The clitoris is the holy grail of sexual discovery for most women and it’s also the route to many toe-curling, pillow-grabbing orgasms.
While it is the one place most men head to when they want to pleasure their woman, many go about it the wrong way – thus chasing off the orgasm rather than encouraging it to come gushing on…
How to give her clitoral pleasure
First of all, no one likes a chafed clit so trim your nails, lash on the hand cream and crack open a bottle of vagina-friendly lube: this is all part of your prep.
The clitoris has around 8000 nerve-endings sitting atop it, and these nerve-endings will cry out in pain if you go in all guns blazing: it simply doesn’t work.
Orgasms are a build-up of energy that is released, and therefore the best course of action is to go slow (very slow) (even slower than that) and build up. Think of it as an orgasmic marathon rather than a sprint – pace yourself.
Starting off with oral sex – if she is comfortable with this – is a good idea. The tongue is soft and moist, two things that most vulvas are partial to.
You can add a drop or two of the vagina-friendly lube to the labia lips, clitoris and opening, even if she is feeling rather juicy to the touch. Lube makes tongues, fingers, penises & toys more sensual, and that’s always a bonus!
The most important thing to do is to keep steady with whatever movement she seems to like best. Caress her clitoris using the whole of your tongue, and add in some sucking motions here and there. Nibble on the labia lips, blow gently on her clit (not into the vagina though) and keep your rhythm steady. If she seems to like it, do it again. And again.
Many women worry that they take too long, so reassure her by letting her know there is no place you’d rather be.
Want her to have a truly delicious time? Our Fun Rabbit Ears Vibrator with its vibrating bullet works wonders in the clitoral region. Add a little lube to the soft ears of the rabbit, turn it on and stroke gently around the clit.
Think of the clitoris as a clock-face, and work out what time her Happy Hour is. Many women prefer stimulation of 10-11 or 1-2, but take your time (no pun intended) and work your way around the clit-clock. There will be one or two spots that are far more receptive to your soft touch, and this is where you should focus your attention.
Direct stimulation of the clitoris can be overwhelming, so unless she specifically tells you she wants direct pressure, always tease around the sides of it instead – and this is why the Fun Rabbit works so well, the flexible ears slide along the sides of the clit rather rather than directly on it.
There’s a lot of speculation surrounding the G-spot. Does it really exist or is it just a myth? Where is it located?
Well, we certainly believe in its existence, although it would be fair to say not all women respond the same to stimulation of it.
The area of the G-spot (the Grafenberg spot, named after the guy who ‘discovered’ it) is located about half-a-finger on the front wall of the vagina, a surface that feels less smooth than the rest of the vaginal walls. Blood flows to the area during arousal, and the G-spot becomes easier to locate and stimulate.
How to Stimulate Her G-spot
Add a drizzle of lube (see, we told you the lube would come in handy!) to one or two of your fingers, before sliding them into her. Curve your fingers upwards towards her G-spot and stroke in slow but firm come-hither motions. Remember to not go harder or faster until she asks for it.
If penetrative sex is on the cards, it’s worth noting that many women find that woman-on-top positions work best for experiencing intense sexual pleasure and orgasm.
Let her straddle you, and then tilt her hips backwards or forwards (whichever feels best for her). This will allow her to find that sweet spot and she’ll get the pressure she wants.
If you found this helpful and would like more tips & tricks on how to have her hollering the house down with pleasure, just book yourself a ticket to our Guy’s Guide to Female Pleasure!