Valentines Day is the most romantic day of the year but how can you make it your sexiest too? The sexperts from Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, who’ve been advising women and couples for neigh on 20 years, share their tips on how get the best out of your sex life.
How to Have Earth-Shaking Orgasms
Think BBC: Build-up; Breathing and Continuity. Quickies can deliver instant gratification, just like a fast-food burger can quell hunger, but for a real feast you need courses and the longer the build up, the better the orgasm. Breathing is also important. Try to breathe evenly and deeply as it will allow you to really relax and let go. Finally most of us need uninterrupted stimulation to have blockbuster orgasms. Play around with different sensations and positions during build-up, but once into the home run, don’t deviate. Pre-climax pleasure that is continuous and consistent is key to coming like a sledgehammer!
How to Fly Solo
The ways women masturbate are many fold and there is no right or wrong way to enjoy a session of solo pleasure. Whether your muff-job involves fingers, toys, shower on full blast, washing machine on slow spin, legs spread or thighs clenched together, the key to a fabulous time is to relax, to fantasise and to keep exploring new ways to pleasure yourself. A few drops of lubricant (never baby oil or moisturizer, ladies, unless you relish an itch in your ditch) will heighten sensitivity. Reading erotica is a great way to source fantasy-material if your imagination needs a kick-start or if weaving a sexy scenario in your over-worked, multi-tasking brain seems like just too much hard work. For women who find orgasms illusive/absent without leave or their hands tire before it arrives, then the sure-fire throb of a vibrator will often help.
How to Ask New Things of Your Lover
Use words that involve your lover and sexy suggestions are more likely to be embraced with baited breath. Saying “I’d love it if we [insert desired fantasy]” conveys togetherness whereas “I would love to …” can be misconstrued as desperate or dissatisfied. Whispering is easier than square in the eye. Make your suggestions in a romantic situation but not in bed or during sex, unless you are confident of an instant uptake. Visiting a (female-friendly!) erotic store together can be a fabulous way to explore new possibilities, discover more about your partner’s desires and perhaps pick out some sensual playthings that turn you both on.
How to spice up your sex life
Long-term lovers naturally get into a groove. Sex calms down after “new couple” fever and life takes over. Add children, mortgages and the weekly shop into the mix and it’s easy to get into a sexual rut.
Anything that is habitual will loose its thrill, so the way to spice things up is to break the routine. If you always get jiggy in the missionary position on a Friday night, then ravish your lover on a Tuesday morning in the en-suite. Send a sex-text. Introduce a sex toy. Have a massage date. Approach spicing-up as a fun and playful thing to do, not as a comment on the state of your sex life, as pressure to perform can be a libido-killer. Keeping it light and surprising will ensure it will be spicy and hot!
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