Porn by Women, for Women

Remember all films sold at Sh! are 18 cert (the only kind we can legally send to you through the post: read why.

Angel from Sh! reviews Anna Span's Good Service DVD

This is a certificate 18 porn film (not certificate R18). It is totally and completely designed to turn you on and has no “educational” content above the interesting visual of naked different bodies and what they do.

Certificate 18 means you are seeing real people having sex in front of the camera, but the close up shots of penetration, the erect penises and the “cum shots” have all been edited out. What you see is plenty of real-sex action (from behind, the side etc) and close-ups of breasts, licking of pussies, sweaty panting faces and flesh. By the time you’re through you’ll probably be wishing they’d just turn the camera round abit…but as a fun DVD to get you in the mood, you could do a lot lot worse.

The beauty of Anna Span films is that they are very playful, not overly focused on male-to-female instant penetration and take you through a number of scenarios that are handy to use later on as part of your fantasy visual repertoire. Most importantly the women look like that might actually be into it!

They all look grown-up and self-assured, not forced into the sex trade by some unscrupulous pimp. Nothing about the production looks exploitative, everyone is around the same age (no dodgy older blokes with young looking girls) and there is the overall sense that everyone is actually having a bit of fun. As soft porn for women that can turn you on, not turn your stomach, Anna Span films are probably the best thing currently out there.

This DVD is made up of 6 different scenarios, all centered around some sort of “service” industry. Double entendres abound as we witness a “full service” in a garage and “the full works” in the hairdressers… All the scenes are of ordinary/ believable scenarios, set in real-life sets (the garage IS a garage, the hairdressers IS a hairdressers.) Even the “actors” are fairly believable. In true porn fashion the blokes do all tend to strip to a pert 6-pack, but they are, on the whole, not the fake-tanned steroid-fuelled bodies of American porn, and the women look in the main part like they’ve just come round from next door. The mechanic looks like a mechanic (albeit a mechanic straight out of an ozzie soap..) and the travel agent assistants look like they could be travel agent assistants – authentic East London accent and Essex girl make-up.

Another common feature of all the scenes is that there are usually some “extras” that are just there in the background, getting on with their business as if there weren’ t two people shagging in front of them (one of the garage boys picks the kettle up from behind the woman being rogered over the mechanics bench as if this type of thing happens all the time…). This all leads to the overall sense that there is nothing wrong with licking brandy butter from your hired waitresses pussy, or shagging your client after giving her a Brazilian shave in your salon. The blokes all strip to naked (or at the very least naked but for pants hanging round their ankles) – so there is none of the “woman as object” feel you can get from semi-clad blokes with naked, vulnerable women.

As you don’t see the actual “cum shot” what you get instead is actually much more interesting – close-ups of the blokes faces looking really and genuinely ecstatic. They often smile/ laugh abit like they really have just let go, and not just as a mechanical process for the camera. Faces get red like real energy has been expended and the women are also left with shiny foreheads and rumpled hair - not the static powdered faces of much traditional porn.

There is also a lot of kissing. Kissing before and after the penetration bit for male-female scenes, kissing of lips and bodies between the women. Of course it is acted and of course ultimately we know that the moans and groans of the women is hyped up for the expected sound effect (we do have an “animal reaction” to the sounds of sex as well as the visuals) – but much of it also seems very real and believable.

The first scene is the hairdressers. A blonde woman (obligatory east end accent) comes in for a set and to have her legs/ underarms shaved at the same time. While she’s at it, she may as well get her bikini line done and in stages her garments come off until she is reclining, legs spread and knickers off, to be administered to by one of the salon guys. This is a scene in which a woman is essentially being serviced and pampered by two blokes (one for her hair, one for everything else…) – she is asked if she’d like the “full service” before he gets his cock out, so you get the sense she is very much in control and why shouldn’t this sassy young chick get a bit of quick-fix sexual pleasure if she wants to? There is a good 10 minutes of video before we get down to any real action (you may want to hit fast forward second viewing around…), at the end he cleans his spunk off her backside and proclaims “that’s you all done then!”

The second scene takes place in a flat – a group of friends have hired a waitress to serve a Christmas Eve meal (it’s all there – the chicken, the veg, the bubbly and the crackers...) For dessert it’s “brandy butter with pussy”. All seems very odd to the friends, but they go along with it – only one wants pudding anyway, so he gets the pot of cream smeared all over her genitals all to himself to lick off. You do (again) have to sit through a fair amount of wooden-ish chit chat before anything really exciting happens, but there is a strong emphasis (as with all the scenes with penetration) of licking a pussy for a good amount of time before going anywhere near it with a willy.

Next come the personal beauty assistants, hired by some posh bird to pamper her in the comfort of her expensive home. Cue naked woman being oiled by other women shots. No sooner have the assistants de-mobilised their client and rendered her sight-less with slices of cucumber, do they decide to indulge in a little pampering themselves... follows: various kissing, fondling and pleasuring with dildos between the pair. You do get the slight feeling they’ve not really kissed or pleasured another woman with a dildo before, but none-the-less the focus is still on two young women enjoying each other’s bodies. Their moans and groans inevitably get the attention of the prostate woman, but rather than being outraged that the girls she has hired to beauty-treat her are just getting on with their own hanky-panky, she allows them to fondle her nipples and finger her to orgasm.

Next: woman goes into garage to pick up her car and gets cross when it isn’t finished. They promise to try and sort it out for her and she is invited to take a seat while they have a look. Of all the woman in this DVD, this one looks the most like she is really enjoying herself, genuinely turned on and playing out a real-life personal fantasy. The idea is that she (the character) has this fantasy that she goes into a garage and the mechanic is wearing no top – so this mechanic (the one actually in the video) is persuaded to take his top off. Then she has fantasized that she strips for him to turn him on – so we see her strip for him to turn him on. Each step of her “fantasy” is then played out (of course, she has also fantasized that she’s fucked hard…) Maybe it’s because she sounds sort of Swedish/ northern European and is oddly posh-looking that you think she really must want it. She is certainly a million miles from the usual porn actresses. The ozzy-style mechanic is a wee bit heavy-handed with his clitoral stimulation – but then, what would you expect from a mechanic?

Lastly – the travel agency, and bloke comes in to sort out a last-minute holiday. There is a particularly high element of comedy to this one…the girls use bits of their body to show said bloke what prospective countries look like: “Brest” and “Krack-ov” are illustrated by pulling tops up and bottoms down, “Menorca” and “Majorca” are pointed out with spread legs after the “air el Cheapo” pants have come off. To explain the feeling he might get from taking the whole tour (from Brest to Krakow, via Menorca etc), we are treated to a full view of very nice pert bottoms, squeezable tits and slim, trim midriffs. The two assistants fondle each other for him (and us) to watch, pleasure each other with the fabulously retro “gold smoothie” and ultimately book him a holiday. Afterwards they step outside for a fag.

All-in-all this is typical Anna Span porn – slightly comic, slightly kitsch, slightly east end and slightly dodgy camera work. For what it is, it will probably do the job – horny enough to get you really turned on, believable enough to aid fantasy and “clean” enough to leave you wanting more, not feeling queasy.

Only gripe here is that you don’t see any cleaning of vibrator from one girl to the next, which is NOT safe-sex practice.

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