Questions to ask yourself if you cant orgasm or find it hard to orgasm.
Unable to Orgasm or “Anorgasmia”
Being unable to orgasm is given the scary medical term of Anorgasmia. The title may sound a little Woody Allen-esque, but the inability, or seeming inability, to orgasm effects millions of woman, causing immense distress.
Every year, we see hundreds of women who visit us at our London store and tell us they have never had an orgasm. Scientific studies and surveys back this up, showing that a huge proportion of our female population can't cum at all or go without orgasm during sex frustratingly often.
The reasons why you may find it hard or impossible to let go and have an orgasm are many and varied. There could be environmental, psychological, physical or medical factors all playing a possible part. Sometimes pursuing orgasm as if it is the Holy Grail actually creates further problems, as disappointment is followed by frustration, lack of self esteem, lack of enthusiasm for sex, and tension. All feelings that won't help you to feel aroused and in that ready-to-orgasm state of relaxation in the first place! It's really hard not to get sucked into a vicious circle of non-orgasm-non-desire-non-orgasm!
The reality is, that however much you may feel like you cannot reach climax, for the vast majority of women, orgasm WILL be possible. But how…?
Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself, but try asking yourself these questions and you may find the solution ... and come sooner than you think!
• Do I have a problem with my relationship – unresolved issues/ dissatisfaction?
• Do I know where my erogenous zones like the clitoris and my g-spot are?
• Do I feel guilty about sex or have any negative feelings/ attitudes towards sex?
• Have I got unresolved issues stemming from abuse or trauma?
• Which bits of myself do I most like being stimulated?
• Have I been affected by any surgery, trauma or illness that may have altered my physical responses?
• Do I ” tense up” when about to orgasm, and if so why?
• What would make me feel more relaxed when I’m masturbating or having sex?
• Am I taking medication or using recreational drugs (that may make lubrication more difficult, or may interfere with sexual responses)?
• Am I worried about letting go in case I pee?
• Am I the sort of person who always needs to be in control? Am I afraid of losing control?
• Do I like the kind of sex I'm having with my partner?
• Do I feel embarrassed/ nervous about what I'd like in case of rejection?
• Have I ever tried to PC muscle excercise?
• Am I worried about the neighbours hearing..?
When women come to our London store looking for help, we will always recommend they get a vibrator. The intense stimulation that a vibrator delivers has helped thousands of women "get off" for the first time. We will talk through the different options and discuss how to choose a vibrator that suits them and their desires.
As most women's first orgasms are clitoral, this is probably the area to concentrate on first so we will also discuss the best vibes for clitoral orgasms.
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