Strap Ons are no longer purely Lesbian Sex Toys Only... Straight couples are now getting in on the strap-on action.
Advice From Scarlet Magazine Article Jan 2005
Strap-on sex for straights - are two cocks better than one?
Strap-on dildos are no longer the domain of lesbians and porn films: a fifth of all strap-ons are now sold to straight couples and a further 30 percent of men say they'd consider being on the receiving end of one. But what's all the fuss about?
It seems there are two schools of thought when it comes to anal sex: there's the up-the-bum-no-harm-done gang who regard it as just another string to their sexual bow; and then there are those who shake their heads, look aghast and swear they wouldn't do it even if you paid them. (Hang on though - how much?)
However, no matter how much of a taboo anal sex is, you get into a whole new world of verboten when you tackle the subject of strap-on sex for straights - ie, you (the woman) fucking him (the man) up his ass with strap on. My partner is a pretty open-minded, try-anything kinda chap, but even so, he insisted on this piece being written anonymously.
Despite how ridiculous this statement seems, sex does appear to go through 'fashionable' phases. Blame it on the media pushing a metrosexual agenda to get guys in touch with their 'feminine' side, or put it down to the Internet driving ever-harder porn onto desktops across the world; whatever the reason, this year's must-try sexual adventure is the straight strap-on experience. Yes, really.
A spokesperson from Women's Erotic Emporium Sh! says, "A few years ago 98 percent of our strap-ons were sold to lesbian couples, but in the past year straight couples are becoming a significant factor in the dildo/harness market and now clock up around a fifth of all sales."
Perhaps it's the Sex and the City factor driving our appetites for all things sexual? After the Rabbit debuted on the show it became the UK's best selling vibrator.
Putting sex on mainstream TV has definitely brought it into people's consciousness. There have been big changes with women and the way that their sexuality is viewed. It's almost unfashionable just to be straight and confine yourself to that gender role; being playful with role-play and gender-swap has less stigma now. And what better way to play with the other side of your sexuality than being the one who penetrates?
There's good physical reason to penetrate your man too; along with all those nerve endings in the anal area, around an inch or so inside the man's rectum is his prostate gland which can be stimulated by a finger or a dildo for an earth-shattering orgasm.
What's it really like?
Scarlet's feisty reviewer and her fearless fella give it a go.
She says:
My main concern was that things might get messy - and not in a good way. But according to online advice, it seemed unlikely that we'd wind up with grubby sheets, but best to put down a dark towel just in case and get him to have a bit of a sluice beforehand.
We decided to look online for a dildo; something that wasn't too big and wasn't too small.
When it arrived, I secretly tried it on in the bathroom and felt incredibly stupid. I looked like a bondage pony ready to trot at the bum sex gymkhana. I called Sh! for advice, and luckily the latest in boy-girl pleasers had just arrived, a Super Strapless, which was made of soft silicone; it was a two-part strap-on - one piece went inside me and tilted against my G-spot and the other was my 'cock'.
Sexually this was all about him. I felt separate from him, and way too concerned with getting it right. We took it easy initially; lots of lube, a finger, then two and then I tried to penetrate him. Not easy. It kept popping out of me, wildly bending away from him and eventually it just became desperately unsexy.
After tea (him) a bit of a cry (me) and a hug (both of us), we tried again with the conventional strap on and found it easier to achieve penetration.
The best position was him on his back with me propped on my elbows in front of him. I got to thrust well from that angle and watching the depth of his orgasm was incredible. His balls actually seemed to go concave he came so hard.
If I'm honest, it was a bit of a disappointment for me; I had to "slow down, be gentle, calm down" when all I wanted to do was fuck him really hard. And it was frustrating not getting it right first time. We'll try it again and add a few more drinks to the equation. After all, I'll be hard no matter how much booze I have.
He says:
When she told me she wanted to actually fuck me - properly, with a strap-on, half of me was excited and the other half wanted to run and hide. I let my more adventurous side take over, and in the name of research, I gave my ass up. We started with loads of lube and her fingers inside me. This was nice until I felt her sharp nails scratching me - I asked her to be gentle, but she was in full dominant mode and didn't pay much attention. One of the things that turned me on was the power exchange, although I found myself wishing she would come out of character for a minute.
It was difficult to find the right position, and there were many failed attempts that only discouraged me and made me feel silly and a bit humiliated. Finally, we got into a position where she could fuck me while stroking my cock. This was amazingly hot and I came in minutes.
My orgasm was one of the most intense I ever experienced, and lasted for what seemed forever. Definitely worth the trouble. I felt bad that I had come so hard and she didn't even get wet - I want to make sure next time that she's getting off too.
There was a slight feeling of embarrassment and worry that there would be a mess all over the sheets, but it was surprisingly clean and the only thing that needed cleaning up was all the lubricant that we used.
My overall verdict is that it was worth it, but be ready for lots of trial and error until you find your groove. Best advice is to clip all your nails, get the right toys and add plenty of lube.
Six steps to (anal) heaven
1. "Choose a harness that fits you well, the snugger and more secure the better," says award-winning author and sex educator, Tristan Taormino (Pucker Up: Dirty Secrets for Maximum Pleasure). "You should definitely try them on in a sex toy store if possible to see which works best for you. For beginners, I would recommend a smaller dildo to start out, but of course, you should find what works best for you and your partner."
2. Silicone is the best material for toys because it is completely non-porous and therefore very easy to clean and disinfect. It's also very resilient and conducts body heat. Latex is less resilient and more difficult to clean. However it does tend to be less expensive than silicone, so it is good for the budget conscious.
3. Remember, the rectum is not self-lubricating. Always use a good thick lubricant.
4. Make sure that your toy is flexible enough to manoeuvre the curves of the rectum. Very hard, rigid things (like candles, metal or wooden objects) are not a good idea for your ass, and never put any sharp objects or anything with rough or jagged edges in the rectum.
5. Make sure that you clean your toys after each use with sex toy cleaner or antibacterial soap and lots of hot water.
6. Make sure dildos, plugs and vibrating toys for anal use all have flared bases to prevent them getting stuck and never put anything in a rectum that may be difficult to retrieve unless you want to find yourself in A&E discussing your sexual habits with a very amused GP.
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