Advice for the Bounder & Boundee - How to enjoy bondage safely.
Sometimes to surrender to some one-way loving and being free to enjoy your own pleasure without any pressure to ’bat back’ ... Or to be totally in charge of your lover’s pleasure and to feast on the vision of them splayed out in front of you can be hot stuff indeed. Essentially, many erotic activities - massage, oral sex, hand-jobs - involve an exchange of trust and power with one of us performing and the other exquisitely receiving. Sensually playing with this power dynamic by binding your lover and controlling the pace of their pleasure can be sweet surrender all round but it is essential to play safe and establish some rules beforehand.
Bondage Advice for Both Players
• - Good communication is crucial. Any game based on power can resurrect buried feelings in a partner who may have been abused or raped so boundaries must be agreed before the playing starts.
• - Establish & honour 'safe words' that instantly halt the game/ease up on the action should it become too intense.
• - Get informed as well as inspired. There are plenty of great books and websites that will advice you as well as be a hot read!
Bondage Advice for the Bounder
• Always be alert to and immediately honor your partners use of 'safe words' whether in physical or emotional scenes. Many couples employ two words: for instance 'Yellow' for ' lighten-up I'm finding this a bit difficult to take' and 'Red' for " Stop Now!' Having safe-words established & trusted upon means that, as the 'Top", you’re free to throw yourself into a scene, tease mercilessly and get ‘em moaning, groaning and begging for more….
• Always use wide, strong bondage. Silk scarves may seem less threatening but they can sneakily tighten to pinching point and even cause permanent nerve damage.
• - Your lover’s bliss is entirely in your your hands - keep theirs safe - check regularly for signs that blood hasn’t stopped flowing to the area (signified by numbness, coolness or blueness). If extremities turn this way untie immediately and rub the area until restored.
Physical Safety Bondage Advice
• - Never enclose both nose and mouth.
- If you gag your partner, they can't clearly use their safewords so find an alternative means of communication; a marble to drop that says 'stop' for instance.
• - Never bind your lover face down on soft furnishing.
• - Never leave your lover tied-up in bondage alone.
Bondage Advice for the Boundee
• - Only allow yourself to be tied up by someone you know well and TRUST ABSOLUTELY.
• - Never allow yourself to be talked into something you don't want to do.
• - Never think that using your safe-words makes you a wuss - they are there to give you FREEDOM, so feel free to throw yourself into an Oscar-worthy performance, secure in the knowledge that you can halt play instantly if you need/want/wish to.
• - Being helpless, you're free to relax and relish every sensation. In these decision-overloaded times, you don’t have to think - just feel…… so let performance anxieties take a back seat.
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