Never Had an Orgasm

We're very glad that you have taken the first and important step of addressing your sexual needs. As you rightly acknowledge, lack of fulfilling or enjoyable sex can have a hugely negative effect on your relationship, no matter how "close" you might be with your partner in other ways.

Ultimately your partner will need to be involved in the discussion about your sex lives as he will have to know when you are enjoying sex or when it is hurting you.

In the beginning though there are certain things that you can practice alone! And this way you can understand how you work and what you enjoy.

Firstly, do not worry that you have never had an orgasm - we have hundreds ' of women every week who say they have never had an orgasm - some of them into their 50's and 60's!

However, orgasm is an important (and highly enjoyable) aspect of our sexuality and it is well worth learning how to achieve one. There are many different types of orgasm, achieved by stimulating different parts of the body. We have a lot of different toys that may help you either stimulate the Clitoris and/ or the G Spot ( see Clitoral vibrators and G Spot vibrators

The EZ Pleaser is a good newbie vibe as it's cheap toy to get the feel of whether vibration will wok for you. It has a removable sleeve (easy to wash separately) and has a turn dial so you can go from low to high speed. If you have not really spent any time looking at/ feeling your clitoris, I would suggest getting a small hand mirror and taking a good look, exploring with your fingers. You can then use the EZ pleezer to stimulate the clitoris around the area as it vibrates.

We have an excellent vibrator called the rabbit vibrators have helped a thousands of women achieve their first orgasm because they simultaneously stimulate you externally and internally at the same time! If you've never played with a vibe before, you may think that they look a bit complicated, but if you are thinking about owning and using a sex toy, it is worth thinking about which one is the most likely to help you achieve orgasm.

When using a vibrator, it is extremely important that you use a lubricant, so as not to cause friction. I would also recommend that you use a lubricant when having sex with your fiancee. Many people ask "when should I use a lubricant?" - and we answer: "as often as possible!" or "whenever you feel like it!". Lubricant is designed to make sex easier and it can be fun and pleasurable experience lubricating one's sexual organs! There is nothing wrong with you if you use lubricant - it is just a simple and safe way to make penetration easier, therefore less likely to cause you pain.

A very good trick to try with lubricant and one we are sure your fiancee will enjoy, is to use the lube to massage his penis (a "hand-job"!). Put plenty on and rub your hands up and down. While making him hard, you will also be lubricating his penis so that it is easier to go in.

A lot of women find that sex with them on top as a position (astride their partner who is lying on his back) is easier to achieve an orgasm as you can rub your clitoris against his body at the same time. Sex "on all fours" (with you on your hands and knees as if you were crawling), with him from behind can be easier to stimulate the G-spot.

We hope that this has been of some help to you. Although learning to pleasure yourself is a very important and healthy step to understanding your sexuality, your relationship and sexual activity is ultimately something that needs to be nurtured by both of you.

By making sexual exploration fun and part of your "sexual routine", it can be an exciting and rewarding part of the relationship for both partners.

Try to make your "sex session" last longer, with more time at the beginning to touch, massage, kiss and look at each other.

Feathers can feel sensual and soft over the naked body and help "get you in the mood".

Bathing each other beforehand or getting "dressed up" can also be a fun way to begin. You will enjoy sex more and it will feel more comfortable if you are "ready" - wet, and relaxed.

At Sh! we believe it is every woman's (and man's) right to enjoy a safe, fun healthy sex life.

We wish you both the very best in achieving this.

Love The Sh! Girlz

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