Loading...

Q&A: Why Do I Have Different Orgasms? Advice at Sh! Women's Store
Skip to content

FEMALE-FOUNDED LGBT+ INCLUSIVE🌈

Main Navigation

Q&A: Why Do I Have Different Orgasms?

Q&A: Why Do I Have Different Orgasms?

Dear Sh!

I have different orgasms with my husband and vibrator.

I normally orgasm when having sex with my hubby; I have what I've recently found out is known as female ejaculation. Now I have recently purchased my first vibrator - a rabbit - WOW! Why didn't I buy one before now (age 31!)?

Well, when using my vibrator, I experience the most amazing orgasms, completely different from those I have with my hubby. These orgasms are extremely powerful and send me to a completely different planet of extreme pleasure, then render me helpless and sleepy - WONDERFUL!

Can you explain why I experience different orgasm, or perhaps I've never had a proper one until the arrival of my rabbit vibe?

Hi there,

Thanks for getting in touch! 

It sounds like you experience a clitoral orgasm with your rabbit vibrator and a G-Spot orgasm with your husband.

Different stimulation = different orgasms

Orgasms are as different as we are. It's possible to have intense orgasms, wet orgasms (and you're lucky enough to have those), quick orgasms, long, hard orgasms...all different!

Rabbit Vibe does things that the male member can't. A Rabbit vibrator vibrates and rotates; it has beads to stimulate all around the labia and to flex PC muscles against - and above all, it tickles your clitoris!

It's perfectly feasible that this vibrator does things to your body that a penis (however lovely and loving) can't do. It's not a matter of "proper" orgasm and "not a proper" orgasm - it's just a different orgasm.

Rabbit vibrator in purple

 

Masturbation focuses on you

The other issue is that solo, with a vibrator, you are concentrating on your own pleasure. Sex with a partner is a two-way thing. Self-love is single-minded.

As women, we are taught it's more 'feminine' to be 'selfless' rather than 'selfish' and to put other people's pleasure before our own. No bad thing in that, but coupled with the complexity of our sexual responses, it can mean we don't orgasm as freely as the fellas. 1 in 3 of us can find orgasms tricky or elusive with a partner.

No matter how much you love your hubby and are comfortable being open with him, there may be a sense that you can't completely let go.
This doesn't mean anything is wrong with your relationship - it's just human nature. On our own, we can be totally focused on our own pleasure.

Enjoy sex toys together

One way to have the same intense orgasm with your husband is to enjoy your rabbit when you are in bed together. Let him see and share in your amazing orgasms! 

Introduce your vibrator to your husband, hand him the controls and let him see what happens to your body... If you can achieve the same powerful orgasm in front of him, it will show that other orgasms are possible.

The next step is to see if you can achieve similarly intense orgasms when you have pentrative sex together. For this, you could use the bunny's ears on your clitoris, a small bullet vibrator or even try out a vibrator designed to use during intercourse.

Have fun exploring!

Best Wishes, 
Team Sh! xx

 
Browse sex toys for couples here. 

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.

New orgasmic toys!

Our newest sex toys & pleasure products...

Need any orgasm advice? Ask away...

more orgasm advice

Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Tips for National Orgasm Day

National Orgasm Day, celebrated on the 31st of July, is something we should all be shouting Oh-Oh-Oooh about....

What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?
What Does an Orgasm Feel Like?

If you have never had an orgasm, the concept may seem baffling. How do you know if you've...

Best Sex Toy for Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
Which Is The Best Sex Toy For Multiple Orgasms?

Read our advice on the best sex toy for multiple orgasms.

Your Questions about Squirting, Answered - Sh! Women's Store
What Is Squirting, And How Can I Learn How To Do It?

Squirting is something we're asked about a lot. Very little studied, argued as mythical (mostly...

Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Sh! Women's Store
Becoming Orgasmic Online Course - Unlocking Your Sexual Potential

Our online sex course Becoming Orgasmic is specifically...

Closing Orgasm Gap - Sh! Women's Store
Close the Orgasm Gap - Women Deserve More Pleasure!

The orgasm gap is a name given to the statistical fact that women in heterosexual relationships enjoy...

Spicing Up Sex Positions Advice - Sh! Women's Store
Tips for Spicing Up Sex Positions

Most couples have their tried & tested go-to positions for sex. You start in one,...

How to Masturbate & Up Your Orgasms Quota - Sh! Women's Store
How to Masturbate & Up Your Orgasms Quota

If you've not yet taken time to explore self-love, it's high time to lock the door, pull the...

How to Have Multiple Orgasms - Advice at Sh! Women's Store
How to Have And Enjoy Multiple Orgasms

Experiencing more than one orgasm during a single sex session is something many of us...

Q&A: Don't Orgasm During Penetration - Help at Sh! Women's Store
Q&A: I don't orgasm during penetration - what can I do?

Hi Sh! I would like some advice if you can. I never orgasm by penetration,...

Guide to Multiple Orgasms - Sh! Women's Store
A Quick Guide to Multiple Orgasms

Anyone who's ever experienced an orgasm knows just how ruddy marvellous they are: Your heart races, toes curls,...

Q&A: Sex & Arthritis
Q&A: Sex & Arthritis

Hi, Over the last 4 years, I have had issues with my joints. Despite this, until last year...

Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?
Q&A: Why Can't I Orgasm?

Hi Sh!, I'm looking for a new sex toy. I have the Fun Factory Stronic Bi...

Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day - Sh! Women's Store
Top 10 Orgasmic Sex Toys for National Orgasm Day

Would you be surprised if we told you that National Orgasm Day on 31st of July...

Only One Orgasm - What Toys Do You Advise?
Q&A: I've Only Had an Orgasm-What Toys do you Advise?

Hi, I'd like to ask for your help in a serious...

Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm
Benefits of Sex - The Chemical Rewards of Sex & Orgasm

We all know that sex is toe-curlingly, sheet-bitingly, and swooningly fantastic, but did...