Lana-Citron-Blog-Post-Bun

Edible Pleasures – A Tasty Experience with Lana Citron

Come whet your palates and tickle your fancy in this engagingly scrumptious evening exploring the universal relationship between food and sexual desire.

Author Lana Citron will be talking desire, passion and the pursuit of oral gratification to celebrate her latest publication Edible Pleasures, a textbook of aphrodisiacs. Lana looks at desire through the culture and history of aphrodisiacs in a talk which will be informative, entertaining, stomach-churning (the more gross examples) and palate teasing… 

Edible Pleasures is a cultural and historical romp on the universal bond between food and sexual desire. From the poetic to the philosophical, the absurd to the abstruse, indulge in scientific, gastronomic and cultural histories, accompanied by an A-Z of aphrodisiacs with a side order of seductive recipes. Lovingly combining delicacies from The Taste of a Kiss by Martial to Madame Pompadour’s Asparagus Tips, by way of South Park’s Hot Salty Chocolate Balls, Edible Pleasures is the definitive textbook to food, passion, love and desire.

Book Your Ticket Here:

Edible Pleasures by Lana Citron, book cover

Ticket price includes a signed copy of Edible Pleasures


“Discerning gourmands”, “connoisseurs of seduction” and “gastronomes of love” are all most welcome.

More About Lana Citron

A prize-winning Irish author and scriptwriter, Lana Citron’s novels are; Sucker, Spilt Milk, Transit, The Honey Trap and The Brodsky Touch. Her first nonfiction, A Compendium of Kisses was Book of the Week in The Economist and described as ‘an intellectual and indulgent treat; a wonderful and comprehensive book on all things osculatory’.

Lana Citron wearing a blue dress
Lana Citron

For more information go to www.lanacitron.com or follow Lana on Instagram

Photo ‘Pie Hole’  © Jo Ann Callis

Impact-Play-Blog-POst

Impact Play: a 360 on Spanking – a class with Lola Jean

Following two sold-out classes with Lola Jean earlier this year, we are delighted to announce her return to Sh!

This time, Lola Jean will present three classes at Sh! and if you missed her last visit, you really gotta get in quick coz we’re expecting tickets to sell quicker than 99-Flakes in the sunshine!

Lola Jean at Sh!

The first class, Impact Play: a 360 on Spanking will take place on Friday 28th of June and if you read on, we’ll tell you all about it.

IMPACT PLAY (N.): Impact play is a practice in which one person (the bottom) is struck (usually repeatedly) by another person (the Top) for the gratification of either or both parties.

Learn when and where impact play can be more useful/beneficial.

Whether someone is a pain slut or a beginner, impact play can be a reward just as much as a punishment. Bring the art of the tease into your impact play.

We will answer questions like: do you have to like pain to like impact play? Who is impact play for? Is it the same as spanking and whipping? How can I use impact play?

Based on methods your impact play can feel like a massage or like pins and needles. In this class, we review different toys and methods of impact play on the feet, butt, back, chest and genital area. From floggers to canes to a good old fashioned hand spanking, learn how to utilize each tool on multiple parts of the body.

The class will conclude with designated time to demonstrate different types of aftercare for appropriate situations. This class is open to Doms, subs, or none of the above and all genders and orientations.

Join Us!

Who is Lola Jean?

American Lola Jean is Sex Educator, Mental Health Professional, Wrestler, Domme, Writer, and Volume Squirting World Record Holder. (And with a sex-CV like that, it’s no wonder women of all ages flock to her classes, keen on learning from the best!)

Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of.

Lola’s background in the mental health field gives her a deep understanding to the mental blocks many individuals may face. A sex geek to the core, Lola continues to develop her teachings and avenues where she can spread her sexpertise to the world.

As featured in The New York Times, Elite Daily and Men’s Health, Lola offers a variety of FemDom, Wrestling, Squirting, and Masturbation classes and frequently makes appearances performing at House of Yes and The Box.

More Classes with Lola Jean This Summer!

Relight that Fire

Relight that Fire

People of Sh!: the most wonderful time of the year is now upon us. Just in case you haven’t already heard us mention it; May is the month of masturbation.

In a period of #selfcare, now is the time to brandish those hashtags and jump fearlessly onboard. Many of you are already out there, in the field, rubbing one out time and time again in the name of sexual liberation.

But, what if you just don’t fancy getting down and dirty with your pleasure powerhouse? Is the only lubricant you’ve come close to recently the one that slid masturbation slowly down your priority list? What if you and your partner just aren’t in sync with each other sexually – but you feel guilty in pleasuring yourself without them?

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Allowing yourself to explore your sexuality either alone or with a partner requires a positive mindset. It’s not a selfish or indulgent act: it’s a bare minimum that can be a really empowering, rewarding action. However, if you’re not “feeling” sex much at the minute and you’re not sure why, then evaluating your mood and stress levels is always a good starting point. Take the other person out of the equation and think about what’s going on with you. Is something causing you stress? Perhaps you can try little strategies here and there to fix at least the smallest of your concerns.

Masturbation should never be a chore – it’s a bloody delight. The language you use determines how you think and vice versa. If you find yourself speaking about your body or sex negatively then perhaps you can try and consciously implement more positive language when talking about such topics. Saying this, there is no need to force anything if it really doesn’t feel natural.

Be kind to yourself by allowing space and time for your attitudes or context to change.

Otherwise, buy yourself a ticket to that pilates class you’ve been putting off. Lather up in your favourite moisturiser. Get those kids to their friend Jenny’s for dinner and chill out in the bath with a nice glass of whatever you fancy. If you’re feeling REALLY outlandish, read up on your favourite fantasies via a sweet slice of erotica. Soon enough you’ll find yourself raring to go, so dust off that trusty vibe of yours and get back on your rocking horse.

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On the other hand, you may be rolling an eye or two at this masturbation month malarkey thinking that there’s no reason to do that when you have a partner already. Relying on that one person for all sexual satisfaction is a lot of pressure, no? What would you do if they went on holiday?

Not only is masturbating a practical solution for staying in tune with your body and satisfying your own needs, but it can be really sexy to do with a partner and allow them the role of voyeur.

Face each other head-on as you individually touch yourselves together or in turn. You could even tie them up so that they are just out of reach of you (guaranteed they will be squirming in delight). Not only will this make you feel super sexy and confident but they are also essentially having a lesson in the sure fire way to get you off– which brings us to our next point.

Does your partner need a map around your hot spots but you’re not really sure which directions to give them? Masturbation is the perfect tour guide, enabling you to pass on your pearls of wisdom. Exploring your own body is a never-ending adventure in our eyes and letting someone else in on this journey is even more exciting.

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This tactic is especially great if your partner needs a little guidance in the way of your sexual pleasure and words are not your forté. If this is you and, to quote Ronan Keating, “you say it best, when you say nothing at all”; give your partner a V.I.P view and show them how you like it.

If you would like to make them feel like they have a bit more power than this, why not invest in a remote controlled vibe? This way, everyone’s involved. We-Vibe is a luxury brand that specialise in couples toys. They are so invested in ensuring that no one is feeling left out of masturbation by launching their latest toys that include vibes controlled by the smartphone apps on Android and iOS systems. They run in the background of your phone whilst you’re living your best life on Facetime. It’s music to our ears.

From whichever way you look at it, May only happens once a year. It’s the perfect excuse to make some time for your inner sex spirit. Let them out and enjoy!

Research-Blog-Post

Research: Does Your Partner Experience pain During P-i-V Sex?

Pain during penis-in-vagina (p-i-v) sex has only received research attention in the last two decades. Within heterosexual relationships, most of this research has focused on women and whilst understanding women’s experiences is hugely important, sex is an interpersonal experience and much less is known about the experience of the male partners.

The aims of this research are to better understand how men make sense of and respond to their partner’s sexual pain; and to increase our knowledge of how men view pain during penetrative sex, how it influences the sexual relationship, the relationship in general and themselves individually.

The research will be used to inform therapeutic practice for both individuals and the couple and enhance support for anyone seeking help.

Participation in this study involves responding to an anonymous online survey.

In order to collect as many and varied opinions, thoughts and experiences as possible, the survey allows participants to answer the questions in their own words rather than ticking boxes.

To take part in this study, you must be:

  • Male
  • 18 or over
  • UK-resident
  • Be in or have been in, a relationship with a woman suffering from pain during penetration (or pain that prevented penetration). The relationship can be current or in the past. The pain must have been present for 6 months or more.

The survey takes about 30 minutes to complete, depending on how long your replies are. At the end of the survey, you’ll be invited to request more information about a potential follow up interview if you’d like to talk more about your replies. 

The survey can be directly accessed through the following link: https://tinyurl.com/mensexperiencesofsexualpain

Confidentiality of all data will of course be rigorously maintained.

Who is the researcher?

Debbie Lovell is a psychology postgraduate student in the Department of Health and Social Sciences, University of the West of England, Bristol. She is completing this research for her Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology dissertation project, and the research is supervised by Dr Nikki Hayfield and Dr Zoe Thomas.

Dr-Lori-Beth-Bisbey-with-Roses

Being Present During Sex: a workshop with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

Join me, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey for a workshop on how to stay fully present during sex.

Mindfulness is the term often used to refer to being present. I prefer being present. The practice is spoken about in Buddhism and the term used is Sati.

Sati in plain speak means remembrance or recollection. However, when used in relation to meditation, it refers to an ‘a mental state in which one/recollects/remembers the activity that one is engaged in, in the present moment’ as John Peacock says.

For me, mindfulness is about staying fully present in the moment. When I say fully, I am speaking of thought, feeling, body, spirit. All awareness in the moment. In this way, to talk about being mindful doesn’t really sit well as the word seems to forgo emotion, physical sensation, and spirit.

I prefer to speak of staying fully present or becoming fully present. For many people, staying present is incredibly difficult. The mind wanders off or is triggered into some memory or other. The emotions are triggered and you begin to think/feel the past or think/feel about the future.

When mindfulness is first taught, people are often taught to focus on breath. Though many teachers find this the easiest access point, I do not. I prefer to have my clients learn to observe using their senses first. I prefer to talk about becoming grounded into the present.

In this workshop, we will practice a variety of methods of becoming and staying present in relationships, during conflict or difficult discussions and during sex.


Book Your Ticket For ‘Being Present During Sex’ Here

All genders & sexualities welcome

Ticket price includes Prosecco & cake


Who is Dr Lori Beth Bisbey?

Dr-Lori-Beth-Bisbey-Blog-PostDr Lori Beth Bisbey is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach with over 30 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups helping them to create and maintain their ideal intimate relationships. She has special expertise in working with the aftermath of trauma, working in the areas of gender and sexual diversity, and is kink and polyamory knowledgeable.

Lori Beth hosts a weekly podcast (the A to Z of Sex) and a weekly radio show: The A to Z of Sex ® with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey on the Sexy Lifestyle Network, one vlog on YouTube, has two blogs and writes for a variety of websites and media.

Lori Beth speaks regularly in the UK and USA on topics relating to relationships with sex. She can be found on http://drloribethbisbey.com where both her podcast and radio show can be accessed. She has consulting rooms in central London and sees clients from all over the world via Zoom.

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a polyamorous CIS gendered queer leather woman, married and in a 24/7 power exchange relationship with her husband. She can be emailed at loribeth@drloribethbisbey.com

Pronouns: She, Her

DS-in-BDSM-Blog-Post

The DS in BDSM: Power Exchange/Authority Transfer Class with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

The DS in BDSM: Power Exchange/Authority Transfer Power exchange dynamics/ Authority Transfer-based relationships are ones in which one party is in charge (dominant) and the other party submits or surrenders to the person in charge (submissive). There are many names for this type of relationship: Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/property, Top/bottom.

Does the idea of surrendering control to a partner turn you on? Have you wondered what it would be like to have a partner rush to fulfill your every desire or bow to your will?

Does an ‘old fashioned’ relationship where you obey your partner and your partner takes responsibility for looking after you turn you on? Do you find sex dull when it is soft, gentle and both of you are sharing equally? Do you crave rough intense sexual exchanges?

Wrist-Cuffs

If the idea of power exchange in your relationship is one that intrigues you, excites you, or if you have tried to create a dominant/submissive dynamic in a relationship but it was not successful or what you had dreamed it would be, then this talk by Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is for you.

During this talk, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey will cover the following:
  • How this type of relationship works
  • Why a person would want to be in this type of relationship
  • The sexy and exciting bits of authority transfer in and out of the bedroom
  • Taking control of another person – the overview
  • Surrendering control to another person – the overview
  • A brief primer on consent and negotiation

Join us!

All genders & sexualities welcome


More about Dr Lori Beth Bisbey

Dr-Lori-Beth-Bisbey-Blog-PostDr Lori Beth Bisbey is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach with over 30 years experience working with individuals, couples, and groups helping them to create and maintain their ideal intimate relationships. She has special expertise in working with the aftermath of trauma, working in the areas of gender and sexual diversity, and is kink and polyamory knowledgeable.

Lori Beth hosts a weekly podcast (the A to Z of Sex) and a weekly radio show: The A to Z of Sex ® with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey on the Sexy Lifestyle Network, one vlog on YouTube, has two blogs and writes for a variety of websites and media.

Lori Beth speaks regularly in the UK and USA on topics relating to relationships with sex. She can be found on http://drloribethbisbey.com where both her podcast and radio show can be accessed. She has consulting rooms in central London and sees clients from all over the world via Zoom.

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a polyamorous CIS gendered queer leather woman, married and in a 24/7 power exchange relationship with her husband. She can be emailed at loribeth@drloribethbisbey.com

Pronouns: She, Her

LDOV 2019 As Seen On Screen

LDOV 2019 As Seen On Screen

2019 marks the eleventh, annual Lesbian Day of Visibility (LDOV) since it began in 2008.

There has been a resounding lack of representation for queer womxn in society. Lesbianism has always existed throughout history, yet it is under-documented in history books, literature and art. In the U.K., women who had passionate relationships with women found it difficult to prove the sexual element to society – due to societies then-beliefs about sex. Men were not threatened by these “inferior” relationships as neither member had a penis.

Even to this day, the visibility of queer womxnhood in pop culture is a rarity. With the premise of LDOV being to bring attention to this orientation and encourage equality for people in this community, we decided to pay tribute to our favourite lesbian T.V. characters in our own, Sh! way…i.e. by pairing them with the sex toys we think best represent them.

Willow Rosenberg

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Buffy the Vampire the Slayer is possibly one of the most iconic television series of it’s time. No, of our time. As one of our team member recounts, it provided the first sex scene she ever saw on screen. Willow, the Jewish witch-slash-best-friend of Buffy, is our favourite example of what made the show so magic. The audience follows her blossoming relationship with another character, Tara. As their connection deepens, Willow’s witching powers grow stronger and stronger. By the end of the fourth season, during their first kiss, she’s gradually becoming one of the most powerful members of Buffy’s gang. This positive, empowering and relatable development of Willow’s character is what made the unfolding of her sexuality on screen so unique. She was a role model for self-discovery. For this reason, we are characterizing Willow by a bullet vibrator.

A go-to for many first-time sex-toy buyers, the vibe has unlocked orgasms in countless unsuspecting womxn. It is the gateway to an otherworldly realm of sexual pleasure. A good place to start would be with our selection of Rocks Off vibes. Shiny, waterproof and bursting with buzz, you could try the bright Rainbow bullet or the sleek lipstick in silver.

Blanca Rodriguez-Evangelista

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The new series Pose had us quicker than Madonna could say “Vogue”. Set in 1980s New York, it depicts the black and latinx ball culture that you’ll remember from the sensational Paris is Burning documentary. If you haven’t seen this yet then you must, ASAP. It depicts a community at a pinnacle time in their history, who have influenced practically every aspect of current Western culture; from language to fashion; from Beyoncé to duck walks.

Pose starts with Blanca being a child in the House of Abundance. She is a black trans woman who finds out that she is living with H.I.V. Following her learning of this bombshell, she bravely sets out to start her own house; the House of Evangelista. She’s fabulous, strong and unique. To match Blanca with a sex toy, it has to be one of our most popular characters. Our custom-made marble dildos are crafted on-site in our dildo lab. Each one has an individual pattern in a durable body-safe and silky smooth silicone. Whether you prefer a Duchess, a Honey, a Twista, a Wirly Girly, a Queen of Pearl, a Cupid or a Duke, you can choose from the colours we have available or speak to a member of our team about custom shades. Our marble dildos, like Blanca in her ballroom, are beloved pillar stones of our humble Sh! community. We cannot WAIT for the next series.

Moira (a.k.a. Ruby)

Moira-Samira-Wiley

The spine-chilling, dystopian drama from mastermind Margaret Attwood was televised at possibly the most appropriately disturbing time. The same year of Trump’s inauguration, The Handmaid’s Tale was alarmingly relatable to watch, and is even weirder that the lead actress is a Scientologist, might we add. Moira is the queer best friend of lead character Offred and was previously called Ruby before they were captured. As a fertile womxn in a non-fertile environment, Moira must pretend to be straight to avoid execution or mutilation. Unlike the less fortunate Ofglen, Moira avoids this fate by escaping handmaid training camp. We don’t hear of her again for ages, until Offred finds her as a sex worker in the underground scene.

Moira is fearless, impulsive and loyal. She is on a nifty one-womxn mission to freedom. Moira is a harness. She means business. Business involving a super-soft, perfectly-fitted black 2-strap harness. With three different sized hoops to fit the dildo of your choice, Moira is versatile and hand-made by our in-house leather goddess.

Yorkie and Kelly

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One of the more uplifting episodes of Black Mirror, San Junipero hits Season 3 as a simulated town to which people can move, to visit their elderly or deceased loved ones. Surrounded by 80s music and sequins, it’s a memorably divergent episode of the show, focusing on a charmed and twisty romance instead of being a gut-wrenching thriller.

Kelly is extraordinary; with shoulder pads larger than life. The spectacled Yorkie looks like she was dressed by her Grandma. It’s a sweet, honest account of two people drawn together. By the time they enter San Junipero away from 1987 America, they are out, together and proud. It seems only natural to pair these two honeys with a double ended, body-safe double-ended dildo. The Fun Factory Wave is novel in that its bendy shape allows each partner to get as close to the other as they like, maintaining eye contact. It is our answer to San Junipero. Other double-ended dildos don’t offer this intimate connection as one partner is on each end, leaving their heads and bodies at a distance. Fun Factory has created Wave to allow partners a tighter bond.

Anne Lister

gentleman jack

Also known as “Gentleman Jack”, Anne Lister was a 19th-century British landowner and industrialist. Based on their real-life diaries that were largely written in code, this is a new period drama set to hit the U.K. screens in the coming months. Jack/Anne avoided societies norms, dressing androgynously (hence the nickname of Gentleman Jack) and wanting to marry a woman. Although Jack/Anne did not shove their orientation in other’s faces, they lived openly and honestly in privacy in a time when there were no other well-known queer womxn. Gentleman Jack is often acknowledged to be the first modern lesbian in U.K. history.

To reflect Jack/Anne’s stealthy, original and sometimes sensual behaviour, we are pairing the character with the innovative couples toy, the We-Vibe Sync. This toy can be controlled through a smartphone app, meaning that one partner can covertly direct the other’s pleasure even when on the other side of the world.

Ellen DeGeneres (and Portia de Rossi)

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Although these two are definitely real people (as oppose to televised characters), we felt it treason to miss them off this list. Plus, they have both been fictional characters before, with Portia de Rossi featuring in Ally McBeal and Scandal and Ellen DeGeneres voicing the legendary fish, Dory. The latter actor also starred in her namesake show that aired during the 90s. During its fourth season, DeGeneres was famously interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. It was in this interview that the comedian came out. She then used her sitcom Ellen to bring to light issues surrounding coming out as a queer womxn. In fact, Winfrey actually played a therapist in the show to whom the character Ellen revealed her queer sexuality.

Since this show, DeGeneres has gone on to host a talk show, write several books, found a record company, launch a lifestyle brand…seriously the list goes on, and we haven’t even mentioned the number of pets she has rescued with de Rossi. There is only one option we could think of when marrying this duo to their metaphorical sex toy. It has to be extravagant, efficient and a popular powerhouse of queer pleasure. For this, we suggest the Lesbian Pleasure Weekend Away Gift Set. Made up of a strapless vibrating dildo, a free Sh! bullet, a remote-controlled vibrator, satin ties, free sachets of flavoured lube and free batteries; it’s quite something.

Although these narratives are largely based on non-fiction, there is a lot of truth to the nuances of each. For white, privileged western women especially, acceptance is slowly becoming the norm. For others around the world, this is not the case. Visibility may not solve such complex issues as these entrenched in societies, but it does provide a figure of identity, understanding and comfort for those experiencing isolation and stigmatisation. The fight for equality is far from over. The Lesbian Day of Visibility is one step forward in a more loving direction.
Period-Blog-Post

Period power: why ending period shame is up to us

It was a Wednesday in around 2003 when one of our team’s friends returned home after school to find the “Happy Period” cake her Dad had baked her. Absolutely mortified, she was blushing redder than the fake blood dripping off the icing. The secret news of her first period had only been shared with her mother. How she could have let this slip to anyone – let alone her father – was an act unforgivable to this poor twelve-year-old, for three whole days.

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Despite the hilarity of this story we cannot ignore the underlying issue behind her embarrassment. Why are periods STILL so stigmatised? The earliest fossilised sign of human existence on this earth dates back 200,000 years and we don’t think that the process of conception has altered that much over that period…has it? We must be missing something. Lance Armstrong made it to the MOON and back and yet the period still eclipses us. An actual BLACK HOLE has been caught on camera but periods? Nah – can’t talk about it – too much.

Human behaviour is mind-boggling.

Thank God for Bodyform is all we can say. Praise the Lord. After 100 years of period ads, they were the first brand to actually feature menstrual blood in an advert selling menstrual products (see Blood Normal here if you haven’t already). How demonic of them. The innovation of it is almost overwhelming. In a period of #wellness and Fourth Wave Feminism (we’re not even sorry for the pun), it seems that menstruation and its real implications are finally being brought forward as topics open for discussion.

Seriously though, periods in the workplace? Quelle horreur. Say your goodbyes now because you know how awkward it is to come on in the middle of a meeting.

Menstruating in the office requires a great deal of stealth to avoid social embarrassment.

Firstly, you always make sure you’re prepared and you’re wearing the right knickers. Secondly, if you don’t have a sleeve to hide your tampon/pad in then, sorry, but you’re already lost to us. 51% of men apparently think that it’s inappropriate to reference periods in the professional environment; thanks THINX for that. Actually, THINX also wrote a helpful “how to” for trans or non-binary people who battle excruciatingly higher levels of shame around their periods in professional environments.

Rumours are circulating of Western companies following suit of private corporations in India, Japan, South Korea and several more, to introduce a paid holiday for the first day of a woman’s period. This suggestion of a blanket reform is causing controversy. Critics blast it for exasperating a hiring bias against women, encouraging their absence from decision-making in work and supporting the gender pay gap – all this, of course, fails to mention the social or ethical responsibilities of the sharp-suited male figures behind these decisions….

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Still, there is some good news yet. Following the likes of Wales and Scotland, it was announced only this week that English primary schools would be offering free sanitary products to students in a bid to end period poverty. The organisation that pledged to get this act into place, Free Periods, have been fulfilled. Woo!

Not so woo, however, is the fact that the average woman spends £18,000 across her lifetime on sanitary products and we doubt that this figure includes painkillers, hot water bottles and the money lost from time off from work. For this price, you’d be forgiven from thinking that maybe the gender pay gap should be reversed rather than deleted.

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The plight of periods proves to be endless. In the height of our climate change horror, it will not please you (or David Attenborough) to find out how many plastic bags are involved in your disposable pack of sanitary towels (spoiler: it’s four supermarket ones).

We joke, but these problems are all so easily solvable.

Natracare is a menstrual brand dedicated to a plastic-free period via ethically sourced soft cotton tampons. Launched in 1989 by the fabulous eco warrior, Susie Hewson, the sustainable brand has been saving vaginas and planets from chemically-enfused periods ever since.

Menstrual cups are another alternative. Mooncup has been waving this durable flag since 1999. Fun Factory is a more recent producer. These are all made from body-safe silicone, and are designed to last comfortably for a decade.

Periods, unlike what we’ve been conditioned to believe, are not unclean. They shouldn’t require safeword aliases (getting the painters in?) however creative they may be, to save speakers from dying of embarrassment during conversation. According to a study from the American Journal of Psychology, up to 85% of women report experiencing PMS (premenstrual syndrome) whereas only 5% recount having PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). These extreme figures show that there is a distinct lack of information about these two issues: what the difference exactly between the two is and how they are diagnosed. Apparently, if you experience PMS symptoms in the extremity or so much so you find it disabilitating, then you may have PMDD and should go to your GP to get checked out – although no one really knows why it occurs. Endometriosis affects 1 in 10, yet its diagnosis takes on average 7.5 years.

This cannot be the norm: we need more information and more education readily accessible, en masse. We need to start speaking about periods and female or non-binary sexual health. It’s 2019 for God’s sake, we don’t have time for period shame and we definitely won’t get anywhere by hiding tampons in our bras.
Lift-Your-Libido

Lift Your Libido! A Evening with Menopause Expert Becks Armstrong

What do you do when your libido is lacking? Join us at our upcoming event on Thursday 9th of May!

Mindfulness & menopause expert Becks Armstrong will be sharing her tips to help you get your groove back during peri-menopause, menopause and long after your pesky period has finished.

Menopause can play hormonal havoc, and while some of the debilitating symptoms are well documented no one seems to want to talk about what can happen to your libido and if it’s dipped how to find your way back – so let’s talk about sex, baby!

Becks will give you some ideas about why it happens; will give you some tips on ways to help yourself if you’re struggling and also the importance of pleasure as you age.

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Also bringing the heat – for entirely different reasons – will be our very own Renee Denyer, Store Manager & Sexpert right here at Sh! Having battled through her own peri-menopausal symptoms for years, Renee favours an approach that involves water-based lubricants, vibrating toys, and frank vagina talk. Renee will be on hand to offer advice on how to best handle dry vaginal membranes and how to choose fun toys to help keep the pelvic floor in shape and orgasms at peak ratio.


Join Us!

This event is for women only and places are limited.


Learn More About Becks Armstrong & Clarity

Becks-Armstrong-FinalBecks Armstrong is a degree educated women’s health specialist, with 20+ years of senior leadership experience within UK tech start-ups.

As a qualified acupuncturist, traditional Chinese herbalist and doula, Becks has harnessed her compassionate leadership style to operate women’s health clinics in Australia to high pressured Cheif Operating Officer roles with leading, fast-growth UK tech firms.

In 2017, Becks spotted a lack of real and substantive solutions for women going through peri-menopause and menopause. As a result, she created Clarity – a technology solution to improve women’s health through mindfulness, relaxation, and sleep.

The Clarity app features specific content and mindfulness practices for situations that may arise due to menopause like hot flushes, sleeplessness, night sweats and improving a low libido. Such exercises improve the quality of life for users – from better mental health, relationships to performance in the workplace.

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The Clarity app’s mission is to improve the lives of women – one calming breath at a time.

 

Turn Up the Heat

Turn Up the Heat

With the weather yo-yoing like we don’t know what at the minute, we thought this a good time to answer some of our favourite customer queries concerning temperature play…

Why the flip would you put a heating setting on a dildo?

This in the same question we’ve been asked again and again in-store by customers when explaining this delightful function on our crowd-pleasing Zalo Queen vibrator. ‘How is heat going to help to prong my G-Spot up into somersaults? I thought it was all about positioning and tempo?’ Well, you’re not wrong but heat can go a long way when it comes to pleasuring your Grafenberg Spot (because, of course, this misunderstood mecca of female pleasure was named after it’s male “inventor”).

First of all, it draws blood to the area it’s making contact with. If that area happens to involve your clitoris gland in any way, which your Queen G no doubt is, that’s going to encourage swelling or state of arousal. All your attention is going to be centered directly upon this sweet spot. If you’re feeling a bit nippy – then it is the perfect ice-breaker. You don’t have to take its temperature hotter than your natural body. By doing this and stopping it at this point it aids your body’s relaxation.

But what if your toy has no heat setting? Glass and metal dildos are other great options are their compositions ensure that they will naturally adapt to match your body temperature.

What if I like to feel a hot sting?

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You are not alone. However, we would not suggest trying this internally. We stock candles that burn at body-safe candles that you can drip on bare skin to your heart’s content. The further away you hold the candle, the less hot the wax will be as it touches the skin. This is great to do on a blindfolded partner as depriving certain senses like this will cause their others to heighten. If you take your time with it you can actually watch them squirm in excited anticipation for whatever is about to happen.

If this isn’t for you then perhaps you want to try a colder sensation? But it’s so grey and cold outside already, we hear you complain. Don’t let the outdoors put you off – an ice cold blast can cause your hairs to prick up like no other. Plus, you can always warm up together beforehand to get the ball rolling. For instance…

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Why not have a hot bath with your lucky partner beforehand to warm things up? You can caress and massage each other to get your oxytocin flowing and prepare yourselves for what’s to come. Once you’re sufficiently steamed, move to wherever is comfortable and introduce some ice cubes into the mix. Or, if you want to taste something sweeter – why not sub in ice-lollies instead? These are perfect for teasing on the skin around your partner’s preferred erogenous zones and following shortly afterward with your tongue. It’s sticky, messy and delightfully fun. We would, however, recommend you keep these well away from genitals as the high sugar content of ice pops will most likely cause an unwanted bout of thrush.

How can I avoid cold, rough hands?

Cold weather is a beast of burden on many levels. You have to wear a million layers only to get anti-socially sweaty on the tube, for one.

Another – which can be particularly detrimental in the bedroom – is that the cold air and wind dries out the skin on your freezing hands. Regularly wearing gloves may be the obvious solution but we are thinking outside the box here.

So how can you get around rubbing borderline-emery boards on your most sensitive spots?

You could start by giving an oiled up massage either to your partner(s) or yourself. Rubbing the oil into your hands before massaging it into the skin will adjust your body temperature before shocking the lucky recipient.

Otherwise, use this cold temperature to your advantage in using your fingertips to tickle and dance around the skin first – the more goosebumps, the better. In using oil rather than a gel to use in your sensual massage, this will, of course, moisturise and hydrate the skin – getting rid of that damned coarseness!

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Another option if you’re going it alone and are feeling cold is to start hands-free. Drop a small drip of ON arousal oil onto your clitoris and open up your favourite erotica book. If you’re not into reading then get comfy, close your eyes and let your favourite fantasies take hold. When you feel ready to involve your hands start over clothes moving lightly however you like. A good water-based lube is also perfect for drier skin as it hydrates it when applied and creates a good protective layer between your hands and the sensitive area in question.

Black Latex Gloves (£4 for 10 pack)One last option that may not initially sound very sexy is that of rubber gloves. If your hands are particularly rough and perhaps you want to play around with some butt stuff, these are a really great alternative. They’re hygienic, smooth and gentle enough to the skin inside the anus, which is extra sensitive. We stock them in black latex and baby pink latex-free versions.